Sunday 19 December 2010

Destructoid on the new Conan game



A couple of things:

1. Mr Holmes seems to think Conan=Arnold. But hey, lots of people think that. Just like lots of people think fingernails keep growing after you die.

2. I beg to differ: Severence: Blade of Darkness and The Mark of Kri are ten times the "Conan" game Rastan is.

3. If I see anything - anything - of Mr Holmes' list except Number 2 (and arguably Number 3) appearing in the game, I'm going to defenestrate my Xbox.

9 comments:

  1. Even kill a big snake?

    Otherwise I agree with you.

    Side note: Defenestrate is my favorite word.

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  2. Even kill a big snake?

    That I'll allow, as long as Conan doesn't stupidly ignore the thing until it's reared up behind him for the kill.

    (Wonder why they never had a giant snake in the 2007 game...)

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  3. Agree at 100% with all of your points, Taranaich!

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  4. This game could be a new opportunity to introduce Howard's Conan to a wider audience, just like the new film (hah). But we know how that one turned (is turning) out...

    As you said on the movie blog, Paradox "has made an effort to expand Conan beyond the films in the popular consciousness". But you never know how far they may go.

    I won't be surprised if the game is another God of War-style one, but as we know, Conan was much more than your run-of-the-mill bar-brawler or sellsword. I wonder how one could integrate thieving without making Conan a mere mugger. Assassin's Creed 2 had picking pockets.

    They should hire an Irish or Scottish(-sounding) voice actor for once and have Conan wear clothes and armor. Instead of quoting Genghis Khan, they should use "I'll varnish the floor with your brains" and the like. One can dream...

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  5. My ideal Conan game would adapt certain stories, but what to do in-between? How to link them all together? Free-roaming, with optional thieving and brawling?

    - The tutorial would be the sack of Venarium.

    - A later level, perhaps the next, starts in the middle of the fight in The Frost-Giant's Daughter. After Conan kills Heimdul, Atali appears in a cutscene which ends with the appearance of her giant brothers, who are the level bosses.
    - Even if Conan is bewitched, I would soften the implications of attempted rape and have Ymir teleport Atali away right after Conan kills the giants.

    And so on.

    - For A Witch Shall Be Born, the level could just involve lasting as long as you can before being knocked out after Conan starts the riot for which he's crucified.
    - Next is an interactive cutscene where the player has to press a button at the right time for the crucified Conan to bite a vulture. Otherwise, game over.
    - After Olgerd rescues Conan, you have to do a few missions fighting other folks etc.
    - When Conan challenges him, a boss fight follows which ends with another quick time event which results in a broken arm.
    - Next is the battle against Constantius, if we're doing this by the letter. But what about Queen Taramis? Perhaps the game should follow the Savage Sword version and have Conan himself rescue her. Salome and Thaug are the bosses, but Conan shouldn't kill Thaug all by himself.

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  6. Agree at 100% with all of your points, Taranaich!

    So glad we're agreeing again, Kike! I guess we agree most of the time, though.

    I won't be surprised if the game is another God of War-style one, but as we know, Conan was much more than your run-of-the-mill bar-brawler or sellsword. I wonder how one could integrate thieving without making Conan a mere mugger. Assassin's Creed 2 had picking pockets.

    I think stealth should be at least as big a part of the game as combat. Batman: Arkham Asylum showed that you can make a stealth game where the protagonist can dominate in a brawl at the same time: Conan should be like that.

    They should hire an Irish or Scottish(-sounding) voice actor for once and have Conan wear clothes and armor. Instead of quoting Genghis Khan, they should use "I'll varnish the floor with your brains" and the like. One can dream...

    Ideally, I'd give Conan a choice of wardrobe. That way, we could have the loincloth brigade satisfied as well as those who want a more authentic experience. There are certainly tons of awesome quotes from the stories that are better than "tonight you dine with Crom!"

    My ideal Conan game would adapt certain stories, but what to do in-between? How to link them all together? Free-roaming, with optional thieving and brawling?

    I have my own ideas for a Conan game I'll be detailing in an upcoming post. They have a few similarities to your own. Great minds think alike, I guess!

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  7. As I said on the movie blog, an open world type game would be ideal imo, and would gain my dollar anyhow. it could incorporate many of the howard stories over time ( sequels or add ons aging the character too) and if by some miracle the same amount of attention paid and care given to games like red dead redemption mafia 2 or arkham asylum is paid to conan, it would be a hell of a ride. And i dont know about anyone else, but I'd like to see a solomon kane game in the vein of assassins creed as well. stay away from the fighting genre though'howards heroes' vs mortal kombat frightens me.-Mario

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  8. The most offensive thing about Holmes's list is how unoriginal it is. He was clearly trying to be funny and then ended up reciting pretty much every worn out joke ever made about the movies. "Duh, 'crush your enemies...' and punch the animals...hoo-hoo-hoo..."

    I think something like Red Dead Redemption would be ideal. I'd like a sense that Conan is a wanderer, going from place to place, finding jobs to take on, whether thieving or brawling or a combination of activities. You could start the game as a simple sword-swinger and build up skills in archery and other weapons. It would be really cool if you could actually take to the sea and do some pirating. Unfortunately I don't expect something like this because it would take too much of a creative leap on the developer's part, going from the pressure to do a hyper-violent "God of War" clone to something more immersive and leisurely paced.

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  9. An open-type Hyborian Age world would be a dream, Mario: it's all the more disappointing that Age of Conan only did three (now four) lands, when there are dozens of awesome locations.

    i dont know about anyone else, but I'd like to see a solomon kane game in the vein of assassins creed as well.

    Hmm, not sure about that myself, for the simple reason that not many Kane tales take place in cities. The actual game engine, though, would be quite an interesting basis. Assassin's Creed, to me, would be great for a Conan thief game: imagine going to the City of Thieves, Numalia, and the city of "Rogues in the House," sneaking about into houses, climbing buildings like a spider, and whatnot. That'd be fun.

    stay away from the fighting genre though'howards heroes' vs mortal kombat frightens me.

    I see a strange appeal in an REH beat-em-up, but I wouldn't want developers wasting time on that when they could do a proper game.

    The most offensive thing about Holmes's list is how unoriginal it is. He was clearly trying to be funny and then ended up reciting pretty much every worn out joke ever made about the movies. "Duh, 'crush your enemies...' and punch the animals...hoo-hoo-hoo..."

    Gah, I know. You'd think he'd at least conflate the animal-punching into a single point.

    I think something like Red Dead Redemption would be ideal. I'd like a sense that Conan is a wanderer, going from place to place, finding jobs to take on, whether thieving or brawling or a combination of activities. You could start the game as a simple sword-swinger and build up skills in archery and other weapons. It would be really cool if you could actually take to the sea and do some pirating. Unfortunately I don't expect something like this because it would take too much of a creative leap on the developer's part, going from the pressure to do a hyper-violent "God of War" clone to something more immersive and leisurely paced.

    I really need to get Red Dead Redemption: I was on the fence due to not being made of money and having bought Fallout: New Vegas recently, but the reviews have been pretty impressive. I just wish it was set a little earlier than 1911, say, the 1850s (during the Gold Rush), but I love the idea of an open-world western.

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