So Why The Hell Am I Doing The Conan Movie Blog Anyway?

Ever since the Conan film script was leaked and the resulting character casting sheet released, the film's kind of beyond the point of no return for me.  Generally, if I'm talking about the upcoming Conan film, chances are it's tinged with a mixture of resentment and resignation.

"It looks just like Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.  Of course it looks just like Hercules: The Legendary Journeys."

"Huh.  He's wearing a skirt.  Looks like he has Roman manica and pteruges like the gladiators wore.  Of course he's wearing a skirt, a manica and pteruges."

"Not too bad, he's bulked up a bit, he has the blue eyes, nice glower going on.  But he doesn't have any scars, or a square-cut black mane.  Of course he doesn't have scars or a square-cut black mane."

"Hey now, that ain't too bad! He finally has black hair, and he's looking vicious and bloodied in the heat of battle.  Hell, he's actually starting to look like Conan!  Hopefully Lionsgate will release more awesome pictures like this that highlight the savagery, grit and realism of the character!"

... "Of course."

So one might wonder exactly why I'm doing a blog dedicated to the upcoming Conan film.  Why on earth would I spend my time browsing the internet for news, snippets and rumours about a film that I've thrashed six ways to Sunday?

Most of this is due to the sheer ignorance of the source material I find on the internet.  If a news site isn't lamenting the fact that we don't need a Conan the Barbarian remake (and we don't), then they're belying a lack of familiarity with the source material.  One site even noted the change in Khalar's surname from Singh to Zym, and wondered whether Howard fans would be outraged at this change:

Right off the bat, it’s interesting to hear that Lang’s character is called Khalar Zym and not Singh, as has been previously reported. I’m not a student of the original Conan books by Robert E. Howard, so if that’s a significant discrepancy, someone will have to let us know in the comments.

Other sites didn't even seem to know about the very film.  Some thought that Ukafa would be the main villain, and started to compare Bob Sapp to James Earl Jones.

Waldgeist's Conan Movie Blog was different: here was a blog by a Robert E. Howard fan who knew full well what was going on.  He knew all about the script, the casting sheet, and most importantly of all, why Howard fans are in such a tizzy over it.  Over time, it became important.

So, I took up the mantle.  I don't have high hopes for the film, but I think it's important that someone's out there to tell people what's going on.