You can buy this Distressed Conan the Barbarian T-Shirt. Much like faded and pre-torn jeans, I have to wonder the sense in creating a T-shirt specifically designed to look old and worn, but hey, fashion has always been immensely stupid.
But that's not the fun part.
No matter how successful the scheduled reboot comes off, there will never be another Conan the Barbarian as raw as the original.
You might think it unlikely that this is a reference to Robert E. Howard.
You'd be right.
The 1982 film was a graphic and brutally abject affair, equal parts orphan story, revenge arc and manifest destiny. Derided (then and now) for his stilted delivery, Arnold Schwarzenegger carries the picture on his broad, chiseled physique, displaying unexpected traces of wit, pathos, compassion and charisma, all of which would resurface much more in later performances.
Le sigh. Let's try this with other nonsense.
No matter how successful the scheduled reboot comes off, there will never be another Batman as raw as the original.
The 1960s TV series was a campy and brutally silly affair, equal parts orphan story, revenge arc and manifest destiny. Derided (then and now) for his stilted delivery, Adam West carries the show on his broad, pudgy physique, displaying unexpected traces of wit, pathos, compassion and charisma, all of which would resurface much more in later performances.
How 'bout this?
No matter how successful the scheduled reboot comes off, there will never be another Captain America as raw as the original.
The 1990 film was a cheap and brutally stupid affair, equal parts fish out of water, revenge arc and manifest destiny. Derided (then and now) for his stilted delivery, Matt Salinger carries the show on his broad, chiseled physique, displaying unexpected traces of wit, pathos, compassion and charisma, all of which would resurface much more in later performances.
Or this?
No matter how successful the scheduled reboot comes off, there will never be another Alice in Wonderland as raw as the original.
The 1951 film was a graphic and brutally abject affair, equal parts orphan story, revenge arc and manifest destiny. Derided (then and now) for his stilted delivery, Arnold Schwarzenegger carries the picture on his broad, chiseled physique, displaying unexpected traces of wit, pathos, compassion and charisma, all of which would resurface much more in later performances.
OK, OK, I was just kidding with that last one.
Funny I just ordered a Conan T-Shirt.
ReplyDelete(but not that one)
Great point Al. I was thinking of writing up my own parody of Tarzan, but you've more than made the point.
ReplyDeleteIt also raises another good point: Typically you see defenders of "loose" film adaptations busting out the old canard that viewers will be more likely to seek out the source material. I don't know if I buy that argument to begin with, but it certainly doesn't hold water regarding the new Conan film, which is a remake of a film which in no way, shape, or form resembles the source material.
In other words, while I like Conan the Barbarian, a remake isn't likely to cause a stampede for the Howard Del Reys. In fact, it's likely to foster the growing myth that Conan was born on celluloid in 1982.
I noticed plenty of people buying copies of "The Lord of the Rings" when those movies came out.. yet I've never found a good forum online to discuss the books.. all of them are still centered around the movies.. and most people who tell you they love the movies have still not read the books.
ReplyDeleteThey may buy copies of them, but that dosen't mean they are going to read them.
For a good book-centred forum concerning LOTR, check out "The Tolkien Forum"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thetolkienforum.com/
You need to register to see content, and the site had a near-death experience in the aftermath of the films, but there are still people posting and a good selection of inactive threads with some great material to wade through.
ahh well thanks for that, I'd tried Theonering.com at one point since they have an actual forum vs Theonering.net's bulletin board style.
ReplyDeleteBut where as TORN is just insipid gibbering about actors and what sort of stuff they are up too.. TORC was just rabid political ranting.. A lot like the Westeros Forum actually...
I will have to sign up and see whats what.
Another Conan cast member cast. Never heard about her - is she a real actress or one of the many booby girls whose only facial expression is that half open mouth she spouts on the pic?
ReplyDeleteI would say she is the latter. While others have been praising her "hotness", I'm more of a Sophia Loren/Monica Bellucci/Rachel Hurd-Wood fellow myself, and this girl is not enough to get me to watch the film for sheer "eye candy".
ReplyDeleteCheers, all!
ReplyDeleteDavid: what shirt was it? I tend to not buy clothing with designs on them, I prefer plain, boring colours. It's just a thing I have.
Brian: It's an excellent point. It's also worth considering that if people don't like the adaptation, then they're definitely not going to go to the source material, even if they might like it. How many people were turned off REH because of CtB? I know part of the reason I took so long to get into Conan after Almuric was the "Big Dumb Barbarian" stereotype.
I might well join you lads over at the Tolkien Forum: Mikey_C at the REH forums is there too, I believe.
Gabriele, I don't know much about Rachel, but I think she is in fact a real actress. I vaguely remember her in Alias, and she does have a natural charm and charisma beyond her looks. So she ain't Liz Taylor, but she ain't Megan Fox either.