In researching Conan of Caledonia, I scoured through my collections of Robert E. Howard's work for anything even vaguely related to Scotland & the Scots. Obviously the Bran Mak Morn tales, several historical adventures, the Pictish Conan adventures, & certain individual stories sprang to mind immediately. But the more I pored over the collections, the more of Scotland I found. Some of them are oblique references, perhaps even a single word or name - but once I get started on something, well, "Wha wul ti Cupar maun ti Cupar." For completeness' sake, I am indeed including the Picts of every time period, for the simple reason that Brule, Kelka, Zogar-Sag, & all the other Picts can ultimately claim their literary ancestry back to the Picts of Scotland. Howard himself does in "Kings of the Night," after all.
I've arranged the following catalogue in general written order, with Rusty Burke's essential Fiction & Verse Timeline & Paul Herman's indespensible Howard Works to sort them as best as I can.
Books dealing on Scottish history were
easier for me to obtain than those dealing with Irish history, so in my
childhood I knew infinitely more about Scottish history and legendry
than Irish. I had a distinct Scottish patriotism, and liked nothing
better than reading about the Scotch and English wars. I enacted these
wars in my games and galloped full tilt through the mesquite on a
bare-backed racing mare, hewing right and left with a Mexican machete
and slicing off cactus pears which I pretended were the heads of English
knights.
- Robert E. Howard, letter to H.P. Lovecraft
Robert E. Howard's Irish fascination is well-known and explored among Howard scholars. Nearly every genre and series he wrote had some connection to Ireland and the Irish: several series starred Irishmen in lead roles, and a few of his most famous stories are set in Ireland. But Ireland is not the only Celtic nation Howard wrote about: Scotland too can boast her share of Howardian heroes and histories.
Howard counted Scottish authors like Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert W. Service, and Walter Scott among his very favourites, and plenty of his favourite non-Scottish authors like Edgar Allan Poe, Harold Lamb, Talbot Mundy, and Lord Dunsany wrote a few Scots tales in their time. As seen above, Scottish history was a significant influence on Howard's imagination. The theosophical writings of Scots Lewis Spence & William Scott-Elliot were foundational to the Thurian and Hyborian Ages of Howard's most famous creations, Kull of Atlantis and Conan of Cimmeria. My Floridian pal Jeffrey Shanks goes into great detail here:
Howard was far from alone in setting his Weird Tales in Scotland: Edmond Hamilton's "The Atomic Conquerors" is a wild yarn which supposes a rather otherworldly origin for the mysterious vitrified forts populating the Scottish wilderness; H. Warner Munn's "The Werewolf's Daughter" is a grand trilogy detailing the adventures of the Werewolf of Ponkert; Weird Tales regular Seabury Quinn even got in on the action with "the Bride of Dewer," a Rumpelstiltskin tale with a tartan twist.
So, on Robert E. Howard's 113th birthday, I wonder: what would a "Scottish" anthology of Robert E. Howard stories look like?
As I'd been branching out over the past few years, there are a few new friends & followers who might not know much about Robert E. Howard's work, and it never occurred to me to do something fairly simple: a wee list of my favourite stories. Not necessarily those I consider the best, just ones that have stayed
with me, and that I found the most compelling & memorable.
Today, Howard's birthday, seems as good a day to do so as any.
This being Valentine Day, I suppose I should make the conventional request for you to go and join the army. That may sound a bit wobbly, but look: Valentine comes from the same word from which “gallant” is derived; a gallant may be a suitor, but is also a cavalier; a cavalier is a knight; a knight is a cavalryman; a cavalryman is a soldier. To ask one to be one’s Valentine is equivalent to asking him, or her, to be a soldier. And one can’t be a soldier without joining the army. So, a request to become a Valentine is approximately a demand to go and join the army.
- Robert E. Howard, Letter to Novalyne Price, 14th February, 1936
I haven't shied away from being very personal on my blog, but there are some places I wouldn't go. I wouldn't discuss politics or religion, and I'd now decided to add racism, sexism and other "isms" to that lot - not because I don't deem them worthy of discussion, far from it, but because they are so potent and emotive that I simply cannot maintain any degree of impartiality or fairness when I feel my guts twisting in anger, pain or frustration. There was a time I could discuss those subjects with passion but without too much emotion, but not any more. Enraged histrionics are funny in parodies or satire, but when someone is truly compromised by their own emotional reaction to something, then it's no use for anyone involved for the affected to continue participating. Perhaps sometime in the future I'll revisit them. That doesn't mean I've gone soft, of course, or that I subjects I do talk about don't affect me emotionally. War, poverty, love, adventure, injustice, charity - things that tug or tear my heartstrings affect me just as strongly, but for whatever reason, my sense of reasoning and logic are enough to balance that passion into an articulate manner. In addition, if ever someone talks about something they know nothing about, it's very easy to see - and dismiss. So since I'm no expert on world religions, gender mores and whatnot, I decided "you know what? Why should I talk about these things I barely understand?" But if you'll indulge me, I'd like to get very personal with one story this Valentine's Day, and how I think it may have helped heal a broken heart.
Courtesy of Black Gate, I came across Lotus' latest write-in poll for The Best Fantasy/Science Fiction works of the 20th and 21st centuries. I say works, because although they say it's "a poll for the best novels and short fiction of the 20th and 21st centuries, with five categories in each century: SF novel, fantasy novel, novella, novelette, and short story," I can't find much distinction between novel, novella, novelette or short story - not to mention a few other confusing elements.
Predictably, everything is draped in late Gilliam, and the action is
meticulously humorless — as Howard was himself. The site of a "failed"
witch burning, exploded out around the stake and scattered with eyeless
corpses, suggests a more interesting medieval pulp tale, but what we get
is brisk, atmospheric, and faithful, for better or worse, to Howard's
earnest voice.
- Michael Atkinson, who shows about the usual level of knowledge and accuracy of Howard and his work among film crickets
Howard's character and theme of a Puritan fighting the supernatural
evils of the world gets even grittier, and adds a backstory of Kane
seeking redemption after showing him to be just as evil as the horrors
he encounters. This is a welcome addition and does not hamper the
character... Liberties were taken with the character, but like The Dark Knight
formula: if you remain true to the character, you can change the window
dressing.
- Chris Mancini, a professed fan who considers Solomon Kane accurate to Howard's creation
Based on stories by Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan the Barbarian, the movie hews very close to the tone, spirit, and style of the source material. Instead of reinventing the character into a pastiche of modern archetypes and tropes like so many big-budget studio tentpoles, the filmmakers set their sights on faithfully translating the character to the screen without involving so much interpretation that the core elements that make him compelling disappear.
- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Since Solomon Kane has been released in the land of his creation after almost three years since its release in other regions, we've been seeing a lot of reviews of the film with fresh eyes. Some are pretty good, which at least give decent reasons for their appraisal of the film, and others are pretty bad, with the same depressing mix of "it takes itself too seriously for a proper fantasy romp" and "doesn't this all remind you of Van Helsing and all these other films that are themselves highly derivative of the source material."
My appreciation for the film has suffered over time, but I still want to say it's a decent film. It's certainly better than a lot of these dark historical fantasy films that've been released of late, and I maintain it's one of the better Sword-and-Sorcery films out there. I'll happily recommend it from that point of view. As a Howard adaptation, though? Ye gods.
Having taken time off following a hospital trip, I took the opportunity to read. In addition to a few new books, I also re-read some old favourites, including the Kane stories, but this time, I read them with the qualification: does this story still make sense if Solomon Kane happened?
(Prepare for spoilers for a 3-year-old film I've been talking about since 2008 that's only playing in a dozen or so theatres, probably because the Weinsteins are the Weinsteins)
I’ve been working on a new character, providing him with a new epoch – the Hyborian Age, which men have forgotten, but which remains in classical names, and distorted myths.
- Robert E. Howard, letter to H.P. Lovecraft, circa April 1932
2012 marks the eightieth year of Conan the Cimmerian’s presence in the popular consciousness. Following the previous year’s multitude of anniversaries (the Cross Plains Centennial, the 75th of Howard’s death, the 50th of Glenn Lord’s Howard Collector, among others) there is one other notable landmark in the 30th anniversary of John Milius’ Conan the Barbarian. While the cultural significance of the film deigns it worthy of recognition on such a year, the much greater milestone of the character’s first appearance in any medium should not go unnoticed.
And so it shan’t. In the months leading to December, I will be embarking upon a retrospective of all the Conan stories, fragments, synopses and related material of Howard’s most famous son: arguably one of the most recognizable characters in all fantastic literature, almost certainly the most recognizable barbarian in popular media, and one of the pillars of the Sword and Sorcery genre.
No doubt other tributes dedicated to the greater Conan franchise which has exploded over the past eight decades will appear across the internet, and better left to those more adequately versed in the comics, pastiches, films and television series. I’m just going to talk about the stories that started it all.
I've decided I'm going to periodically share a few random musings in regards to the Encyclopedia, both as a form of soundboard, and to let you all know that yes, I am still typing away and tearing my hair out (that list of Cimmerian names is driving me berserkamad), though hopefully some of my theories won't sound quite so insane as they might in my head.
One valuable resource I've been utilizing is de Camp's "Hyborian Names," which appeared in Conan the Swordsman: lest you think I've gone soft on the Spraguester, I find myself disagreeing as often as agreeing when it comes to derivations that aren't crystal-clear like Khorshemish. A perfect example is in regards to the etymology of Belesa. Here's what de Camp thinks:
Belesa, Beloso Respectively, the Zingaran heroine of TT and a Zingaran man-at-arms in CC. Origin uncertain; remote possibilities are Belesis, a Babylonian priest of -VII mentioned by Ktesias; a Belesa River in Ethiopia; and Berosos (or Berossus, &c.), a Hellenized Babylonian priest and writer of early -III.
It's been remarked upon that de Camp was an extremely intelligent, erudite and well-informed man who has a curious habit of utterly failing to see the simplest of things. As such, while de Camp was struggling to draw comparisons between a fantastical-Spanish noblewoman and Babylonian priests, I think there's a far simpler origin for Belesa.
Barely two weeks after his last essay, Keith goes for gold on a subject dear to me: Cormac Fitzgeoffrey. This week is "The Blood of Belshazzar," first in a series, judging from the Part One. Keith discusses the likes of Belshazzar, Cambyses and more, and I can only guess what else he'll be discussing in the next issue.
A thought occurred to me on reading this excerpt:
The readers are also told “the ancient carver had followed some plan entirely unknown and apart from that of modern lapidary art.” The bandit assures Cormac that “No mortal carved it, but the djinn of the sea!”
Hmm, where has Howard tackled the denizens of Arabic mythology before...
"Over this very trail, legends say, the great Sulieman came when he drove the demons westward out of Asia and prisoned them in strange prisons..."
From that black gaping entrance no tiger-fanged beast or demon of solid flesh and blood leaped forth. But a fearful stench flowed out in billowing, almost tangible waves and in one brain-shattering, ravening rush, whereby the gaping door seemed to gush blood, the Horror was upon them. It enveloped Hassim, and the fearless chieftain, hewing vainly at the almost intangible terror, screamed with sudden, unaccustomed fright as his lashing scimitar whistled only through stuff as yielding and unharmable as air, and he felt himself lapped by coils of death and destruction.
Kane, dazed and incredulous, looked down on a shapeless, colourless, all but invisible mass at his feet which he knew was the corpse of the Horror, dashed back into the black realms from whence it had come, by a single blow of the staff of Solomon. Aye, the same staff, Kane knew, that in the hands of a mighty King and magician had ages ago driven the monster into that strange prison, to bide until ignorant hands loosed it again upon the world.
The old tales were true then, and King Solomon had in truth driven the demons westward and sealed them in strange places. Why had he let them live? Was human magic too weak in those dim days to more than subdue the devils? Kane shrugged his shoulders in wonderment. He knew nothing of magic, yet he had slain where that other Solomon had but imprisoned.
While I have a different view on what the sunken city could be from Keith (sunken cities, monstrous mummies, taloned hands - sounds like a nation akin to Kathulos' Atlantis to me) it's good food for thought.
However, this part stuck out for me due to recent revelations:
Back when I was a kid, they made a movie called “The Giant of Marathon,” starring Steve Reeves as Pheidippides, though in the movie he was called Phillipides. Because it’s simpler to pronounce, I daresay. Steve was Mr. America, Mr. Universe and the Arnold Schwarzenegger of his day, best known for playing Hercules in two sword-and-sandal epics. As Phillipides, unlike the historical original, he survived, got the girl, and just for gravy saved Athens from the Persians personally, swimming furlongs under water with his buddies of the Sacred Guard, setting stakes in the harbour to rip the keels out of the Persian ships. He had to attack one of the galleys personally, since his beloved was chained to the prow, which meant the obligatory muscle-flexing rescue.
(I’ve just looked at the trailer for that old movie. Brings back memories. The girl, Andromeda, is played by Mylene Demongeot. My thirteen-year-old lust for Ms. Demongeot was considerable. But she’s blonde and good. The dark-haired bad girl, Charis, played by Daniela Rocca, looks more interesting to me now.)
I kid you not, yesterday I discovered that The Giant of Marathon was one of a number of historical films directed by Italian horror maestro Mario Bava, and I decided I simply have to check it out.
As an aside, Keith off-handedly quips about Cormac being a forerunner to The Phantom, while I've seen people comment on Toon Boom's interpretation of "Hawks of Outremer" as Conan the Punisher. Cormac and the Phantom, now there's a crossover idea! Toss in the Punisher and you have a wing-dinger.
(In the recent hubbub, I realised that I had written, but not published, something fairly relevant to the discussion. The reasons why will become fairly evident.)
Jonathan Bowden is an outspoken right-wing speaker, and was for a few years a member of the BNP. The BNP being a political party whose aim is to, through legal and peaceful methods, offer "firm but voluntary incentives for immigrants and their descendants to return home". Essentially, to kick all the non-whites out of Britain. So for him to speak about Howard is worrisome, to say the least. I have no problem with anyone from any political background talking about Howard, but the potential for him to be hijacked to make political points is there.
... a BOY of about nine... The boy's dark eyes gleam like pools of oil... His eyes are piercing blue, the eyes of a barbarian child, already toughened by the harsh climate and the ways of the forest...
- Description of nine-year-old Conan, Conan the Barbarian (1980 revision)
Conan is seen at the beginning of Conan the Barbarian, where he is nine years old. He has a close relationship with his father, who took him to pick wild blueberries since he was four or five. When Conan is nine, his father teaches him of his gods, and the enigma of Steel. On one fateful day, a horde of raiders come to Conan's village, decimating the populace and torching the buildings. No mercy is shown, not even to the women, and the few men brave enough to fight back are slaughtered - including Conan's father, who is slain before his son's eyes.
The slaughter is over almost as soon as it began: only the children, clinging to their mother's corpses or mewling pitably, remain - save one adult. Conan's mother, sword in hand, is defending Conan against the armoured warriors. Then a great, mysterious warrior - Thulsa Doom - dismounts, and seemingly entrances Conan's mother. She drops her sword to her side, and Doom beheads her. Conan can do nothing but watch, staring dumbly as his world is destroyed, and offers no resistance when he is locked in a chain gang with the other Cimmerian children. He is marched across hills, mountains, valleys and plains, until he arrives at the Wheel of Pain. There he is chained to a spoke, and forced to push this monstrous contraption. His childhood ends in chains.
Is this an accurate extrapolation of the clues Robert E. Howard left us regarding Conan's younger days?
Smoke from the early morning cooking fires curls up from the wheeled huts of the Cimmerian village. There is a sense of solitude, of peace. Women and children wander about, clad in warm furs against the morning frost.
- Description of Conan's tribe, Conan the Barbarian script (1980 revision)
Milius' Cimmerians are fairly rustic sorts: they work mills and other agricultural tools, herd sheep and cattle, live in kudzahs, wear clothing and use tools that seem inspired by Eastern Europe, Mongolia and Scandinavia. They seem to have a variety of hair colours, ranging from dirty blonde to dark brown. They are a hardy race, but not all are warriors like Conan's father: for the most part, they are just a peaceful, gentle folk eking out a living in a harsh landscape.
I got a surprising link from Google Alerts: as of yesterday, it appears there's going to be another reference guide to the Hyborian Age, using only Howardian sources.
A reference guide to the world of Conan the Cimmerian. Using only the original works of Robert E. Howard.
I hope to index all places, peoples, objects and creatures unique to Conan's time in the Hyborian Age.
No information will be used from books or comics from other authors over the years. Though I will provide a list of them.
Robert E. Howard's Hyborian Age is also tied with the Thurian Age of Kull the Atlantean, and also other characters in other time periods in recorded history. Information from other yarns with Kull, Bran Mak Morn, Turlogh Dubh O'Brien, Solomon Kane, James Allison, Cormac Mac Art, and other miscelleaneous stories will be indexed eventually as well. Providing ultimately a handy concordance of Robert E. Howards' fantasy tales.
Now, I'm definitely glad to see another Conan reference out there that doesn't include the work of other authors. The Conan Wikia is great, with tons of good info, but it isn't exclusive to Howard: the Conan the Cimmerian wiki, on the other hand, seems to have the same goals as the Encyclopaedia Hyboriana. The fact that this wiki appears to have been created on the same day as my announcement... Well, I'm just going to treat it as a happy coincidence.
I've no intention of engaging in any sort of competition with the Conan the Cimmerian Wiki: both the Encyclopaedia and the Wiki share the same goals, and the energy is better spent in concordance than contention. So, best of luck to Drush9999!
Rusty Burke has very kindly released the contents for the upcoming (boy oh boy oh boy) Sword Woman and Other Historical Adventures on the REHupa website.
I'm excited. Are you excited? Because I'm excited. Excited!
Conan and Solomon Kane may be the marquee characters of Robert E. Howard’s pulp adventures, but the writer created a whole host of fascinating heroes and heroines in his too-brief life. Among the classic REH characters being revitalized in Dark Horse’s “Savage Sword” anthology is Dark Agnes, or Agnes de Chastillon, a woman who fights back against her expected submissive role in society in 16th century France - with a sword.
And thus, I let my gruff masculine facade slip as I squeal like a little girl.
Remember how I said I was doing something about the New Manifesto? Well, here's a preview. About the same time that Mark Finn was writing his New Manifesto, I'd been creating my own attempt at forming an introduction to newcomers of Robert E. Howard and his work. This will always be a work in progress, as there's always a new discovery, perspective or explanation for the mysteries and intricacies of the Man from Cross Plains' life and art. It's basically taking some of the elements of the Manifesto and adding my own thoughts and expansions, and footnotes/annotations/citations will be added when I can track them down. Since the article's quite long, I'm going to try and figure out hyperlinks like on a wiki too.
The Newcomer's Guide will also be less confrontational than the New Manifesto for a very specific reason: covering all bases. Some people will be convinced to reassert their beliefs through reevaluation in the face of righteous indignation, while others will simply write off the New Manifesto as the rantings of a sensitive fanboy. Therefore, I think it important to have two approaches. I don't disagree with Mark on any of his assertions, but that doesn't mean Mark, or any one man, can speak for all of REH Fandom, who have opinions, beliefs and interpretations as varied as any fandom could have. As the great Rusty Burke said, getting Howard fans to agree on something "is like herding cats. Big nasty saber-tooth cats."
Think of Mark Finn's New Manifesto as the bad cop, and Newcomer's Guide as the good cop.
Remember, this is still quite incomplete: I just want to give everyone an idea of what the finished article would be like. There are some glaring omissions I'm having trouble with (particularly the "hot topics" like racism, sexism, alleged Oedipus Complex, homoeroticism and whatnot) but most of the big stuff is there.
Apparently, horse punching (known as horse breaking) was common enough in Vienna that they started making statues of the occurence.
This post on Swords and Dorkery puts forward a possible origin for the infamous camel slugging scene in Conan the Barbarian. As you're all no doubt sick of hearing, I really don't like that scene for many reasons, but the idea of there being a historical context intrigues me nonetheless. After all, there are plenty of historical references and allusions in Conan the Barbarian, perhaps there's something to it.
A preview of the penultimate issue of Hawks of Outremer is over at the Outhousers.
Now, I was planning on getting my mits on HoO as soon as I could, but I couldn't get up to Glasgow, and nowhere else nearby seemed to be selling the comic. Luckily, I just recently got to rectify that, and purchased the first three issues.
