Mo reasons to love Momo

Arnold's Conan did a few impressive things.  He lifted a giant bowl of green soul.  He pushed a giant wheel.  He... *sigh* knocked out a camel with a punch.

He didn't, however, rip a man's tongue out through his own throat.

I will not have your body burned. I will not give you that honour. The beetles will feed on your eyes. The worms will crawl through your lungs. The rain will fall on your rotting skin... until nothing is left of you but bones.

You'll notice Drogo doesn't even seem to register the flesh wound on his chest from the khopesh (and we seriously need a moratorium on those, they're getting like the katana for the 21st Century), treating it with no more concern than a nettle sting.  Also, that he drops his two tiny knives during the fight: he is Khal Drogo, he doesn't need weapons to kill a man. And to top it all off, he goes all Ken-"Fist of the North Star"-shiro with a final quip.



As with the last showcase of Momo's talent, I really hope Nispel and the gang gave Conan a scene remotely as badass as this one.  Literary Conan certainly had his share of highlights, and it would be nice to have one that doesn't involve animal abuse or lifting heavy things, and hopefully not just rip off one of those moments from the stories.  If there's one thing we can probably depend on, though, it's ingenuity in gory fight scenes.

* I will note that the scene isn't perfect, for the same reason the last one wasn't: Dothraki extras in Game of Thrones suck.  They really suck.  Suuuuuuuck.  In the last video, they didn't seem nearly as fired up as Momoa, reducing the impact of the scene entirely.  I've already talked about how I hate their visual design.  In this case, it's Drogo's "opponent" - more like Drogo's victim.  That guy who challenged Drogo looks like no threat whatsoever to Drogo: surely if you want to show how badass Drogo is, you give him an opponent that looks like he could pose a challenge?  Then, when Drogo defeats him he looks even more dominant? I wasn't remotely worried about Drogo here, and arguably we probably got that point - but that doesn't make it a fight, that makes it butchery.

When Conan fought someone, they were usually treated as dangerous threats.  Howard wrote about their victories, size, deadliness, prowess.  Sergius of Khrosha, Zaporavo, Baal-Pteor, Shah Amurath, the Adventurer, Olgerd.  Conan defeated them all, and while the difficulty of those victories varied, Conan either came out more imperssive because he made them look like nobodies, or because he just barely managed to survive against a truly formidable opponent.  This guy fighting Drogo's a nobody, Drogo defeated him like a nobody, and all I thought during the fight was "how's Drogo going to defeat this nobody?" I'm not going to recall this fight scene as "do you remember when Khal Drogo defeated that challenger to his rule," but "do you remember when Khal Drogo owned that cocky little punk?" Considering we'll (probably) never see Khal truly fight in the series, it's a shame this one fight scene wasn't what I was hoping for.  Ah well. 

If there's a scene like this in the upcoming film, we can forget all about Arnold.

Let's look at the most famous scenes in Conan the Barbarian.





Much as I like those scenes in their original contexts, they're not Robert E. Howard's Conan. The next video is closer to Howard's Conan than every alleged "Conan" film, television show or cartoon to date combined. If Momoa's Conan is given a scene like this performance in "Game of Thrones," then I think the ghost of Arnold may be dispelled at last.

"And to my son, the stallion who will mount the world, I will also pledge a gift. I will give him the iron chair that his mother's father sat upon. I will give him seven kingdoms. I, Drogo, will do this. I will take my Khalasar west to where the world ends, and ride wooden horses across the black salt water, as no Khal has done before. I will kill the men in iron suits and tear down their stone houses. I will rape their women, take their children as slaves, and bring their broken gods back to Vaes Dothrak. This, I vow, I, Drogo, son of Bharbo. I swear before the Mother of Mountains, as the stars look down in witness.


As the stars look down in witness."

Ask Momo!

I promise not to snort derisively at that "Robert E. Howard friendly" statement:

"With the new (Robert E Howard friendly) Conan the Barbarian due at cinemas August 19th, Lionsgate can confirm some very exciting news regarding a filmed interview with the awesome Jason Momoa (Conan himself) when he is in London briefly on May 10th. The idea is to open up the first big interview to “20 questions from UK fans/blogs” much like Peter Jackson’s legendary Ain’t it Cool News fan questions written piece during the early production of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. This Conan version will be a video, and it is a very early opportunity... as such it seemed fitting to open it up more broadly than going with one big website or newspaper."

Well let's get cracking on this, folks!

I've already left my question:

Jason, which of Howard's stories did you draw from the most in developing your interpretation of Conan? 

But just so you know what we're up against, I've taken the liberty of showing the preceding seven comments:

Aloha Jason....your old Friend "Texas" here, I have a two part question for you.
1) As the new age "Conan", so to speak, what do you hope your fan's take away from your portrayal of Conan vs. the Iconic "Arnold's Conan?" I know the story line is portraying REH's Conan, however SO MANY people still compair you to the original.
2) Will we have the honor of seeing you at any Comic Cons or Cons in geneeral in the future?

 - Tiffinie "TexanBeauty" Edge

My question for Jason Momoa.
What three words best describs Conan to you?
 - Blue007

hi jason,as a kid i thought the arnold conan sword was the coolest thing i ever seen, did you try to get that original sword for your role.
 - lee gilhooley

What was it like to work with Rose McGowan?
 - Bruce

Were you allowed to bring in some of your own personality to make Conan a more 'loveable' character or was it necessary to keep the role inline with REH's description?
 - Mirishka

If you could change one thing about the Conan character, what would you change and why?
 - MoreMomoa

Between Conan, Ronon Dex and Khal Drogo characters, who was the most fun to play and why?
 - Julie Nicholls

Some good questions, some fair, others... Well, better get in there before the inevitable "who would win in a fight between Conan, Ronon and Drogo"

Momo as Drogo

A supplement to the recent A Game of Thrones news, here's a picamature of Jason Momoa in that other barbarian role, that of Khal Drogo.

Looking at him, I have to say he doesn't fit my mental image of the Horse Lord.  I imagined a much longer, Hun/Mongol style moustache, for one thing. Not sure if I'm digging his tattoo on the left arm being visible (unless it's being covered up in the actual show.)

Something like this:

Still, he looks great, and I'm sure Martin's legion of fans are pleased.

Another new look at Conan the Momoan (® Miguel Martins)

This time courtesy of Waldgeist's Conan Movie Blog, via BvTcH3r (the hell?) at the Robert E. Howard Forums.

Far superior to the most recent photoshopped-to-all-hell shot, but not as good as the first official shot.  Still, his hair looks a lot darker: might be due to the moisture, or Waldgeist's clean-up process.  At least he looks savage and barbaric enough, even if I still think he could've done with a bit more time at the gym.

My question is, why the hell are the Bulgarians and the French getting all the new info when this is an American film production starring an American actor as an American creation based on the work of an American author?  You poor Yankees can't catch a break.  If there isn't something at Comic Con, then they'd better do something damn special sometime this year if they want people to care about the film when it comes out.  Case in point: Thor is coming out at roughly the same time as Conan is projected (Summer 2011) and it not only has an official still of Hemsworth in costume as the God of Thunder, we have interviews with the cast and directors, behind-the-scenes videos from the set, and know plenty about the film's crew.  We know next to nothing about Conan's crew.  We don't know who's playing the roles of Lucius, Fassir & Ilira despite their important roles in the script - and if they've been excised, then we should at least know why.  Principal photography has wrapped, but we don't even have a proper, officially released still from Millennium/Nu Image/Lionsgate.

Bunch of chuckleheads, the lot of them.

Another new shot of Conan the Momoan (® Miguel Martins)

As brought to us from Rock via kromtaar at the Robert E. Howard forums:

Man... I don't know.  It looks very 300-ish: stylized to the max with much post-production.  That would certainly explain why the principal photography schedule was so amazingly short, if most of the film is being done in post-production like 300.  The sword sports a lens flare J.J. Abrams could be proud of.  Conan's hair looks more like a Sumerian's than a Cimmerian's.  And for the life of me I can't figure out what that pose he's striking is meant to be: I guess it's meant to be a wild barbaric attack, but it looks more like a skirling dance.  Overall, my impression is that it's shooting for badass, but fell somewhere in the "stupid" section.

It's about what I've expected to come from this production, really.

Conan the Momoan: A Few Adjustments

Looking at the clear photo of Conan the Momoan now all over the internet, it still bugs me how they couldn't do the hair right, "uncool" or not.  So, I went ahead and did a few little changes to make him more Howardian - at least in my mindset.

Ol' Blue Eyes is Back: Clearer Shot of Conan the Momoan

Courtesy of Boyana, here's the first shot of Momo as Coco.

Finally, we have those blue eyes us Conan fans have been waiting for.  A shame his hair is still brown, Crom damn it. Dark brown, but still brown: unless there's some funky light refraction going on.  I realise this is going to be as Howardian as Thundarr, but would it have killed them to give him hair "black as a raven's wing"?

Silly question, I know.

*Forgot to add, thanks to Stampfer for the news at the Robert E. Howard Forums.

Add The Guardian to my list of Newspapers I Don't Like.

Actually, it's probably already there.

It gets worse: instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Barbarian, we get buffed-up pretty boy Jason Momoa in the forthcoming remake of John Milius's bravura 1982 fantasy fable, an actor whose most notable performances have come in Stargate Atlantis and Baywatch Hawaii. Schwarzenegger, of course, was hardly a thespian of note himself when he took on the role that made him famous, but at least he didn't resemble an oversized member of Take That.

First, the obligatory NOT A REMAKE. Ten seconds looking it up at Wikipedia seems to be beyond the mightiest of journalists when it comes to Conan. Not to mention that Rambo, one of the main points of the article, is based on a book too.

Secondly... is Arnold really not reminiscent of an oversized member of Take That? Really? Not even Jason Orange? Back in his Conan the Barbarian days, Arnold was practically baby-faced. As an aside, Jason Furlong's John Connor is easily the weakest link in Terminator 2. He's an unlikeable, surly little brat. I sure don't "miss him," even if Terminator: Salvation was rubbish.

That said, Ben Child seems a bit schizophrenic on this, since he posted a much better post on Jason Momoa as Conan, where he notes how bizarre it is that nobody's adapted Howard's stories to cinema despite their obvious suitability. Don't know what happened there.

First Shot of "Conan" - Sort Of

Courtesy of Mikoza over at the Robert E. Howard forums...



Take a look at this picture. This was taken on the set of "Conan" in Bulgaria. Notice anything unusual? Particularly that tall, muscular, shirtless fellow in the red wraparound?