As Usual, the Telegraph Fails.

I hate British newspapers. I even hate Private Eye at times, even though it's the only news source I really trust, and have to wait two weeks to get up to date. Still, here's an example of the Torygraph's failure-of-the-week, naturally featuring Conan.

After a number of sackings following a series of flops, many of Hollywood's surviving executives are turning to their childhood favourites, planning to spice up material that has already found success by using younger and cheaper actors and advanced special effects, including 3D.

Conan the Barbarian, the 1982 film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, is being remade with Jason Momoa in the lead role.

Not a remake, 1932, Robert E. Howard, Weird Tales, blahblahblahblahblah. You know the drill, I don't even need to point it out.

However, lots of people get that wrong. That's not good enough for the Telegraph, it needs to get something else wrong too!

Momoa, 30, who has dreadlocks, is a former model and has appeared in several American television series.

First of all, I find it the height of hilarity that the Telegraph thought that Momoa's hairstyle was worth a mention. "Zounds, the man has dreadlocks, by God!" Second, Momo does not have dreadlocks. He had dreadlocks, but he cut them off three years ago.

The article has other stupidity, lumping The Neverending Story--another in the Conan the Barbarian group of "adaptations" whose source material deserves another, more faithful shot--with the likes of Private Benjamin and The Karate Kid, which are most assuredly films that shouldn't be remade under any circumstances and cause me to foam at the mouth. Then there's this... candid quote from "an executive":

"For original movies, you need to advertise the idea, the story, it's about convincing people that it's worth seeing," one executive said.
"With something that is branded, no education is required. It's also much easier to blame someone else if a remake flops. You can say it wasn't my fault."

Indeed.

Erik Newman of Strike Entertainment, which is developing a version of the 1982 sci-fi film The Thing, said the surge of remakes should not be taken as a sign that Hollywood had no original ideas.

Will people ever stop calling John Carpenter's The Thing a remake? Besides, the new Thing film isn't even a new adaptation: it's a prequel to the 1982 film.