Wednesday 5 September 2012

THIS IS AN ACTUAL PANEL FROM AN OFFICIAL CONAN COMIC


Presented entirely without comment.


EDIT: I'm moved to comment. *MORATORIUM, DEACTIVATE*

Normally the devil's advocate in me would be inclined to go against the grain despite personal opinions. A tiny part of me actually wants to defend Lolos' art: if nothing else, it's certainly different.

However, I must draw the line at defending something simply because it isn't the very worst: something doesn't have to descend below Bennet's "God-Fall" to be subject to criticism. Yes, there have been bad issues in the past with Conan - after decades of top-quality material from Thomas, Smith, Buscema, Alcala, etc. I won't say Thomas was perfect, that he had no off-days, or that Smith's early work was inferior to his later work, or that they didn't have a bumpy start - but they were doing pretty solidly for many years before The Dark Times.

The current Conan run isn't even ten years old. This semi-reboot hasn't even gotten to the ten issue mark.  We've just started one of the great Conan story arcs in "Queen of the Black Coast," which stretched the story to over 40 issues in the Marvel comics, and Conan's barely out of his teens.  We should not be at the stage where this

Posted Image


is a panel of the main Conan comic series.

I'm going to break my moratorium to shock you all: I don't hate Lolos' art. I don't particularly care for it, and I think the constant off-model characters are distracting. But I'm not going to go so far as to say his art is bad, because he clearly has an eye for expression, his scenery is competent, and he has a definite style. That's something.  But at the same time, this is the main Conan the Barbarian line, taking one of the most ambitious and important story arcs in the character's entire life. "Something" isn't enough, this has to knock it out of the park. Lolos isn't doing that: he isn't even playing baseball.

This would be fine for a one-off, a Daughters of Midora or Songs of the Dead. But what happens in these issues affects every Conan comic in the Dark Horse series that follows until the very end.  This series acts as if exists in a vaccuum instead of being part of a long-running series with an established continuity, which means that everything Busiek and Truman did is essentially forgotten.  Wood's Conan never commanded the armies of Khoraja against Thugra Khotan; he never captained the Saucy Wench; he never freed Yogah; he never became friends with Nestor.  And when Wood's off the series, what then? Will another author continue with Wood's alternate-universe Conan, or will we get yet another reboot, only this time the massive potential of "Queen of the Black Coast" has passed by?

Yes, yes, Conan has survived the '90s, he'll survive this. That's not in question: what is in question is the potential of something truly special being wasted. And I do think the potential of "Queen of the Black Coast" is not being exploited by Dark Horse. With all due respect to Wood, the fact that he's explicitly working with such a limited pallet as the original story (possibly mandated by Dark Horse) means that we've had 8 issues of a series about the Black Coast, with three issues that are actually set on the Black Coast: three issues go back to Messantia, which has been covered in the previous arc, and two issues in Cimmeria, which was the setting of two major arcs in the past few years. We still have the current Cimmeria arc to finish before we get to the next arc, which finally takes us back to sea.

*MORATORIUM, REACTIVATE*

37 comments:

  1. Yike's! Kind of reminds me of the cover art for Iggy Pop's album "Brick By Brick".

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  2. Someone didn't study facial proportions in art school...

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  3. The new version of The Nemedian Chronicles from the coming TPB:

    "Know, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars -- Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold, Pictish Wilderness with its kind people. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, sickly-looking, black-haired, dark and sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, a barista, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth and gigantic angst, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet and to take girls to see his mommy." -- The Nemedian Chronicles.

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  4. (sorry if I post this twice, but it seems that my openid account doesn't work right)

    The new version of The Nemedian Chronicles from the coming TPB:

    "Know, oh prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars -- Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold, Pictish Wilderness with its kind people. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, sickly-looking, black-haired, dark and sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, a barista, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth and gigantic angst, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet and to take girls to see his mommy." -- The Nemedian Chronicles.

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  5. Yeeeaaah. Asymmetry like that is possible in nature but frankly un-Conan-ic. Ick.

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  6. Costipated grimace, sassy little hairdo. Sure, that's Conan alright!

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  7. No the scarey thing is, they meant it to look like this.

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  8. Also Al, is there any chance of you doing a breakdown of the new REH Savage Sword Comic to give it some exposure and to allow a more indepthed Howard based breakdown, as the review I am reading aren't that good tbh?

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    1. Now that you mention it, I have been meaning to do so. Frankly, it's gotten MUCH better with Issue 5, mostly since they're actually adapting REH stories, which are - imagine that! - better than run-of-the-mill pastiches brought to us by current authors.

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  9. Boy, constipation hits at the weirdest times, doesn't it?

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  10. Can't. Stop. Laughing.

    Taranaich, I feel your pain.

    I have to admit, I would love reading another long rambling post about Conan in comics.

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  11. I am agree with you two, gentleman. But I'm pretty sure that Al's main problem is the eye colour.

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    1. I cannot possibly articulate my opinion on this particular panel, for it would require me to delve into hitherto unknown and hostile dimensions of time and space to adequately convey my feelings on the subject.

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  12. I don't see what you guys are complaining about. This is an accurate representation of Michael Jackson performing in his brilliant Conan the Barbarian music video.

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  13. FANTASTIC as Arnold would say!

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  14. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. This art work looks like a Manga version of Conan on tons of crack. I rest my case. Cheers!

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    1. Oi, not all manga looks/is "kiddy". Vinland Saga is about 11th century Norsemen.

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    2. Indeed, there's a LOT of different styles in Manga. Just look at how different Pokemon is to, say, Berserk, or Vinland Saga. Speaking of, In addition to Makoto Yukimura, I'd quite like to see Kentaro Miura or Tetsuo Hara adapt a Howard story. Can't be less faithful than the Ghibli "adaptation" of Earthsea (or the X-Men mangas)

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    3. Despite the diversity of looks/types amongst Manga characters, I still hate it. I'm sure this is due in part to the time frame in which I was introduced to Conan (early 80s), and the art for Conan was far superior during this time (e.g. Frank Frazetta) - BTW, that's not a biased opinion, right? :-) Anyway, I still don't like this current comic art. You guys can have it. Cheers!

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  15. Wow Al, you managed to drag out a load of halfwit comments trying to secondguess your problem with this art.
    This post lack in everything you usually have to say to make a smart and researched argument for your feelings on a subject.
    I dont see anything in the post making any point at all, just cranky comments on a personal level. Not the kind of level were used to here.
    And the sad part is you score more comments with this than most other posts.

    You know I relly like this blog, but seriously, this kind of posting make me sad.

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    1. Part of the reason I decided to comment was to address the comparatively large number of comments: my initial statement could be interpreted a number of ways, and I felt it necessary to clear it up.

      I do have far more concrete problems with the artwork beyond Lolos' erratic faces - blonde and brown-haired Cimmerians that look like depressed helpless villagers, Conan's eyes, Belit being apparently naked under her cloak (which contradicts Cloonan's depiction). The script, too: I have a MASSIVE problem with Wood's description of the Cimmerians' closeness with death as being "resigned" which is ANTITHETICAL to what we know of the Cimmerians. I think the characterisation of Conan and Belit's time on the Black Coast as a "carefree" "fantasy" seriously undermines any future adventures. And I still think taking Belit to Cimmeria in the first place was a terrible idea.

      I'm sorry you thought my comments were pointless and cranky, but I thought there were several that were valid. I do think that a mainline comic which already has a rich, award-winning, high-quality backstory should make every effort to include it, not be a continuity reboot which just repeats things that have already been done. I also think that when a series is celebrated for its painterly, detailed, intricate art style, it just makes sense to continue with similar art. If the main Conan series boasted a wide variety of artists and styles, then Lolos' wouldn't be nearly as startling in comparison to Nord and Giorello.

      Like I said, Lolos' art isn't bad, but it is certainly a significant divergence that is possibly highly alienating.

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  16. How do I say this politely? THIS...IS...GARBAGE! Sorry, I just can't get over how badly DH has allowed this classic REH tale to be butchered. (Wish I could post here using Firefox. I detest IE... oh well)

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  17. The art ain't the biggest problem eventhough eye and hair colos shouldn't be that hard to get right. The real problem is the writing especially when so much new material is being created.
    The crossing of Pictish Wilderness on the way to Cimmeria and the portrayl of Picts in a form of a friendly farmer/villager was so huge thing to get wrong. I think it was only one page but it really tells us everything about how well the writer and editors know their source material. Mistakes in portraying Cimmerians compared to that is nothing. (Although I would prefer not to show Cimmeria or Cimmerians at all.)

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    1. That journey into the Pictish wilderness is arguably worse than even the films, be it 1982 or 2011: at least then you don't actually see HOW they get to Cimmeria. In No7, they manage to make it worse by showing it, and making it worse. I just can't fathom it: why didn't they just have Belit & Conan go up Thunder River (they were just in Argos, after all), or travel incognito through Aquilonia, or anything. But of course, all this is so we can have Belit in Cimmeria, which is of course an impossible scenario from many points of view.

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    2. What is with writers' fascination with revisiting Cimmeria, anyway? It seems to me that Howard didn't bother much with the place for a good reason.

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    3. Often beginner Conan fans are accused of not knowing each and every detail of Conan's adventures perfectly, but here comes Wood with his exacerbated pride and his scrawny bishounen Conan vision. He was supposed to ADAPT Howard's qotbc, not make up entirely a new carebear pictish race nor castrate Conan by turning him into a whimp who presents his girl to ma.
      Howard never intended Belit to change her lifestyle and go as far as sailing up north towards Cimmeria to freeze her tits off frolicking amongst civilized kind "picts" and being introduced to Conan's mom as if they just met a week before in a nightclub.

      Wood probably didn't read enough of Conan original yarns and is screwing us sideways with his yawny contradictory concepts.
      There's no life in his flow, no excitement, we only feel like reading the last page to see if Conan is raving for some unkown reason hitting a tree all alone in the forest or if Belit will be picking up some plants to cure that basedow syndrome of his.
      that's not the pastiche I was waiting for...when I thought that Thomas went "too far" at the time when extending the QotBC arc with so many stories in the middle, I can only come to the following conclusion: Thomas was a genius compared to Wood.

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    4. Andy: there's an undeniable draw to Cimmeria, but it's one of those cases where it's really better to leave it a mystery.

      The Individual Who I Know: Well, can't argue with that. Even with my issues with Thomas' QotBC, it still reigns supreme.

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  18. Is this Beavis and Butt-Head version of Conan or what?

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  19. I think it says a lot about this series so far that the highlight has been Conan's fight with some nameless mook in the James Harren drawn issues. Honestly, I'm just mystified by what Wood seems to be doing. Busiek and Truman's run had some not-very-good ideas and missteps but they at least had a grasp on what people generally wanted from a Conan comic series. Wood seems to be interested only in finding ways to make Conan act grimly emo. With the talented artists he had (I guess Cloonan and Harren are off on other projects now?) and the potential for expansion this story had, he should have just cut loose and told the adventures of a fantasy Bonnie and Clyde. Instead it's beating us over the head with "CONAN AND BELIT ARE A DOOMED ROMANCE!"

    P.S. I would LOVE to see some of Japanese manga artists take a crack at Howard's stories. Considering his talent for large scale battles (and the carnage left in their wake), gothic horror and bizarre monsters, I think Kentaro Miura would absolutely kill on an adaptation of "The Scarlet Citadel."

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    1. I'm personally more perplexed that Wood seems fixated on putting Belit in as much peril as possible: isn't she supposed to be the dominant figure in the relationship, not to mention the QUEEN of the Black Coast? Yet we've had an arc where she's a fish out of water fighting snow-blindness and prejudice, and the next arc sees her fall ill to a deadly disease. We really haven't seen a lot of first-hand evidence of exactly how Belit came to be so feared, just a lot of assurances that this is the case. Telling, not showing. Not sure what Wood's doing here.

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  20. It's fascinating to see that mister FREDRIK MALMBERG under the pseudo "Fredrik" (see a few comments above" ) dares to come on this good ol' site to "warn" Al Harron, I mean for Crom's sake, WTF is going on?

    It's like "sonny , stop messing around with my business, I'm selling crap comics to some stupid alternative ignorant kiddies, so let me sell the stuff and start saying positive things about it or I'll get back to ya"

    Just reading between the lines....

    Al, just three words : nail the bummer !!

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    1. I'm unsure if Fredrik is one and the same with Fredrik Malmberg (hopefully he'll clarify), but if he is, "Fredrik" is kind of counterproductive as a pseudonym. In any case, Fredrik Malmberg knows what to expect from me, and he knows I'm probably not going to change my ways.

      Back when the film came out, I wanted it to succeed for the sake of Howard and Conan fandom, but my choices were to wait until other reviews came out so that there was context, or publish it more or less immediately. I chose the former. A review focusing on the positives and eschewing or downplaying the negatives just wasn't an option.

      It isn't a sense of pride or integrity, so much as I'm terrible at that sort of thing: it would've come across as false as it was. The only way I'd talk positively about the 2011 film was if I actually felt positively about it. Devil's Advocate can only take you so far. And if I felt that way about the film, then a comic isn't going to change my ways.

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    2. the same old guy29 October 2012 at 01:23

      ..And that is why I'll always have the uttermost respect for you, because you're not a scholar 'for sale' like so many others and you will always speak to the fans, relying solely on your knowledge and revealing what's on your heart.

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  21. Wow, that's bad. Must have been after I quite reading thanks to this: http://comicsbulletin.com/main/sites/default/files/reviews/images/1311/Conan_22_Ugly_Belit.jpg

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