Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Maxim are either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid

In the June 2011 issue of Maxim magazine, there is a brief "fast facts" snippet about Conan and Robert E. Howard. I have to parentheses the facts portion as "We" all know better.

Amaron's post over at the Robert E. Howard Forums piqued my interest, but further developments are just too good to leave alone. I'll just replicate what I said over there.

It says, Conan debuted in 1932, making him older than Superman but younger than Mickey Mouse.

Cool factoid: Solomon Kane's older than all three!

Mickey Mouse first appearance: November 1928
Solomon Kane's first appearance: August 1928

Conan was born in the fictional Hyborian Age in Cimmeria, thought to be modern-day Ukraine - (Funny, that is the first time I have ever heard that one.)

I think they're getting it mixed up with another Cimmeria: the historical Cimmerians lived in the area of modern Ukraine. I've heard it a few times, usually when people try to justify the Austrian accent. ("Austria's right next to Ukraine!")

At least they didn't say "Hyboria," though.

Howard described Conan as 6'2", 210 pounds, supposedly the authors own weight and height.


Conan's an orphan: His mom was decapitated and his dad was eaten by dogs.

Figures. Strange they don't mention Thulsa Doom, though.

Officer Aggro scanned in the page, and there's a delightfully ironic bit in the top right corner:

"Incredibly Untrustworthy Source" indeed.  One wonders if that was intentional on their part.


  1. As I mentioned in the original post-at least they actually mentioned Robert E. Howard as the creator and left it at that, without tacking on any personal baggage about him.

    Small blessings.

  2. "Conan's an orphan: His mom was decapitated and his dad was eaten by dogs.


    Its like they only seen the movie, and skimmed the Wikipedia article.

  3. You can't trust any magazine that ranked Cameron Diaz as the #3 hottest. Really #3, there are only two hotter. maybe 10 years ago.

    I think they did bare minimum research and were just owning up to it though. You should email them at the address provided, be sure to post the response.

  4. While I appreciate the humor, this is one of those things that makes life difficult for REH fans sometimes. We know the score and we see the humor and realize the magazine is kidding around with pop culture. Less well informed folks, though, will carry these hip, offhanded remarks away with them and think they're true and later, I'll probably have to explain to one of them why they're wrong when they quote it...

  5. Maybe its Maxim's subtly ironic way of saying "don't believe everything you read". Really, does it matter what a rag like that says about REH and Conan? I don't think in depth research anal-ysis is top of their agenda guys when theres plenty of tits and ass to be shown. Maybe they'll do a feature on Nispel's new booty shaking epic though.

  6. Hello, I edited that story. And, as a Conan and Robert E. Howard fan, I sincerely apologize!

    I love and continue to collect the Conan comics. I even play the Conan board game. As a teenager, I had a cutout from the 'ol gigantic black and white Conan comics hanging above my bed.

    Sadly, I never read any of the Conan books (I have read Solomon Kane and Cormac Mac Art, weirdly enough).

    Anyway, thanks for pulling me nerd card, guys. And, again, I'm sorry!