Wednesday 2 February 2011

Upcoming remakes that aren't actually remakes so can we stop calling them remakes please

Remake madness is starting to irk me. I'm not speaking of Hollywood's predeliction to stay with established intellectual properties: that's been with us since the dawn of cinema itself. No, I'm speaking of the internet's disfavour reaching somewhat excessive proportions, that remake fever has "gone too far," that Hollywood "holds nothing sacred," and "does nobody have any original ideas any more"?

A quick look at cinematic history would bely why Hollywood really isn't any more or less remake-obsessed than it has been in other periods.  Does anyone call Captain America: The First Avenger a remake of the Reb Brown or Matt Salinger films?  Does anyone call Jane Eyre a remake of the many other film adaptations?  Does anyone call The Hobbit a remake of the Rankin-Bass animation?  No, they do not.  So I would dearly appreciate it if people would take this into account before lumping films which are not remakes into those which are.  Fright Night is a remake.  The Mechanic is a remake.  Footloose is a remake.  Hell, you could even argue Black Swan is a remake of La Blue Girl.  The following are not.



Akira
What it is not: A remake of the 1988 anime masterpiece
What it is: A new adaptation of Katsuhiro Otomo's manga

All Quiet on the Western Front
What it is not: A remake of the 1930 or 1978 films
What it is: A new adaptation of Erich Maria Remarque's 1928 novel

Barbarella
What it is not: A remake of the 1968 cult classic starring Jane Fonda
What it is: A new adaptation of Jean-Claude Forest's comic

Battle Royal
What it is not: A remake of the infamously bloody 2000 film
What it is: A new adaptation of Koushun Takami's novel

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
What it is not: A remake of the 1982 featuring Dolly Parton
What it is: A new adaptation of the 1978 broadway musical

The Birds
What it is not: A remake of the brilliant Alfred Hitchcock thriller
What it is: A new adaptation of Daphne du Maurier's short story

The Crow
What it is not: A remake of Alex Proyas' 1994 film
What it is: A new adaptation of James O'Barr's 1989 comic

Death Note
What it is not: A live-action adaptation of the Death Note anime
What it also is not: A remake of the 2006 live-action Death Note films
What it is: An adaptation of Tsugumi Ohba's manga

Death Wish
What it is not: A remake of the 1974 film starring Charles Bronson
What it is: A new adaptation of Brian Garfield's 1972 novel

Dredd
What it is not: A remake of the 1995 Sylvester Stallone vehicle
What it is: A new adaptation of John Wagner's acclaimed 2000AD comic

Dune
What it is not: A remake of the ill-fated 1984 David Lynch film
What it is: A new adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic 1965 novel

The Howling
What it is not: A remake of the 1981 Joe Dante horror
What it is: A new adaptation of Gary Brandner's 1977 novel

My Fair Lady
What it is not: A remake of the oscar-winning 1964 film
What it is: A new adaptation of the 1956 Broadway Musical

The Neverending Story
What it is not: A remake of the beloved 1984 film
What it is: A new adaptation of Michael Ende's 1979 fantasy novel

Pet Sematary
What it is not: A remake of the 1988 horror
What it is: A new adaptation of Stephen King's 1983 novel

Straw Dogs
What it is not: A remake of Sam Peckinpah's notorious 1971 shocker
What it is: A new adaptation of Gordon Williams' novel The Siege of Trencher's Farm

Suspicion
What it is not: A remake of the 1941 Hitchcock thriller
What it is: A new adaptation of Francis Iles' novel Before the Fact.

The Thing
What it is not: A remake of John Carpenter's classic 1982 horror
What it also is not: A remake of the 1951 film
What it also is not, also: A new adaptation of John W. Campbell's short story "Who Goes There?"
What it is: A prequel to John Carpenter's classic 1982 horror

The Three Musketeers
What it is not: A remake of the 1993,1973, 1969, 1945, 1939, 1935, 1921, 1916, 1914, 1911, 1903, film of the same name
What it most certainly is not: A faithful adaptation of Alexandre Dumas' timeless adventure
What it is: Another goddamn Paul W.S. Anderson film

Total Recall
What it is not: A remake of the 1990 Paul Verhoeven SF-mystery-action-thriller
What it is: A new adaptation of Philip K. Dick's short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale."

True Grit (hey, it's upcoming in Britain!)
What it is not: A remake of the 1969 cowboy classic
What it is: A new adaptation of Charles Portis' 1968 novel

Yo.  Internet.

STOP CALLING THESE FILMS REMAKES.

12 comments:

  1. But can we still call Paul W.S. Anderson's "adaptation" on the Three Musketeers "crap"?

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  2. Oh, most certainly! I'm not requesting any leniency on the films, merely that they be categorized correctly.

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  3. Wow, I had no idea all these projects were underway.

    I know exactly what you're saying Al, that by calling these films remakes we're not acknowledging the original source material on which they're based. But to play Devil's Advocate: do you really think all these writers/film makers are going back to the old stories when they sit down to make their new adaptation? For example, will the writers of the new Total Recall seek to do a fresh adaptation of the Phillip K. Dick story, or will it be closer to an updated/CGI-ified homage to the Schwarzenegger film?

    Here's another example: The Gus Van Sant Psycho (1998) was a near exact replica of the Alfred Hitchcock version. Is that an adaptation of the Robert Bloch novel or a remake of the 1960 film?

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  4. I'm as cynical of Hollywood's phobia of originality as the next person, but if you really think about it, how many of the great movies of all time are not based on some kind of pre-existing material, either books, plays, or earlier films?

    Casablanca
    Gone With the Wind
    Psycho
    Captain Blood
    The Maltese Falcon
    Ben Hur
    The Wizard of Oz
    Out of the Past
    Stagecoach
    The Searchers
    The Dirty Dozen

    I've got to quit because I have work to do but I could keep going for a good while...

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  5. Damn you and your Beelzebub's Solicitor, Brian! Yes, I fully expect that many of these films have no interest in the original source material - but then, look at the new Conan film. What in blazes is that? It isn't a remake, it isn't a new adaptation... so what on earth is it?

    Gus Van Sant's Psycho? That's just an urban legend which does not actually exist. It even has a page on imdb, so pervasive is this myth. And that is my final word on the matter.

    I will say I've seen in interviews that the new Total Recall WILL be more in line with Dick's short story, in that it'll be a thriller rather than an action flick, and they've actively stated it'll have more in common. But, of course, we all know Hollywood and their ideas of "faithfulness..."

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  6. Good point, Andy. A lot of my favourite films are adaptations, too.

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  7. Yes, supposedly the new version of Total Recall eliminates Mars as a location, which in the story the main character never went to. If Colin Farrell's character is called "Quail" instead of "Quaid" and there is no Richter, Cohaagen, Lori, and Melinda we can stick a fork in the idea of this being a remake.

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  8. I laughed out laud when I read the "three musketeers" thing!!!

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  9. In fairness, I probably should've counted Three Musketeers as a new adaptation, but then, considering it includes airship battles, it might be redundant to point that out.

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  10. hey Al I think The crow is from 1994 or so and All quiet in western front was made before 1939, 1932 or so
    Francisco

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  11. All quite on the western front
    Francisco

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  12. hey Al I think The crow is from 1994 or so and All quiet in western front was made before 1939, 1932 or so

    Argh, I got it confused with the 1989 comic: you're correct in asserting the film was from 1994. Don't know where I got 1939 for All Quiet on the Western Front.

    Thanks for that Francisco, I'll edit the post accordingly.

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