Sunday, 7 March 2010

Triangulation: Casting, Owchar, Awards, 2GB and Dammit I'm still a Man

Happenings afoot, folks!

First of all, casting news. Yeah, no amount of script doctoring is going to save this mess. I've softened on Momo: he still isn't perfect, but I've gotten used to him. I wouldn't even mind him *too much* in a real Conan film, as long as everything else was pitch-perfect. As with Deuce, I'd operate on a "wait-and-see" approach. I like Rourke, and found him tremendously impressive in The Wrestler, but I wouldn't pick him for Corin personally. I still hate the entire character of Ukafa, but I guess Bob Sapp's going to be about as decent as can be expected for a former MMA fighter.

Monday paid a visit to Nick Owchar. When you see review upon review of half-arsed, poorly-researched scribbles from idiot journalists about pulp writers, a guy like Nick is a sight for sore eyes. Even if he did go for Moorcock that one time. Also, I'm going to take this opportunity to wax lyrical about getting name-checked in the L.A. Times! Yahoo!

Tuesday, and I'm still stunned at the REH Foundation Awards announcement. Sadly, it doesn't look like the winners be getting one of those nifty skull trophies in favour of plaques. Ah well.

Saturday's usual is a quick link to Two Gun Blog. Mitra smile on the Keegans.

I'm going to shoot ahead to today's post confirming that Rachel Nichols will be Tamara, as well as the rumours of Stephen Lang for Khalar Singh (AAAAARGH) and Nonso Anozie as Artus, which makes as much sense as casting Will Smith as Elrond. Fun fact: a while back, I talked about how much I'd love to see Diora Baird as Ilira. Both Nichols and Baird played Orion women in the recent Star Trek (Baird's scene being cut, sadly) - Orion women being those infamous Green-Skinned-Alien-Babes from the original series. So you can see how it would be exquisitely entertaining to me to have the two reunited in Conan. Might even tempt me to go see the film: gotta have something to take my mind off the garbage they're doing to Conan and Howard. Scientific studies show that male logic is impaired by the sight of scantily clad women. It's just logical for bad movies to cram the screen full of sexy girls to stop men from thinking too much.

Also, I'm going to take this opportunity to post a few pictures of Rachel I really, really wanted to post over at TC, but I guess I didn't want to make things too unsafe for work viewing, nor to insult our female Cimmerian viewers:

She may not be a Frazetta goddess, but damn.

(Of course, wishing to spare female readers' sensibilites might be considered patronising, seeing as they regularly get to see shirtless muscular chaps at TC, not least a bareshirted Robert E. Howard in the upper right, so it's ultimately self-defeating. Whatever, I'm just going to gawk a little more.)


  1. well if anything I feel sorry for the G.I.JOE alumnus for being cast in this. After all it means they will be in two crappy movies instead of just one. I really almost wish Stephen Sommers was directing Conan so that I could just write it off entirely and not worry about it anymore..

    I do wonder what exactly sort of Vendhyan Stephen Lang is supposed to be though. But I'm sure he will rip the Scenery a new one the same way Jack Palance did in Hawk the Slayer.

  2. Gotta gree on the Joe dudes. We go from a former Twilight guy being in the running for Conan, to two GI Joe alumni. Crazy. Steven Sommers would soften the blow a bit, I just don't think I could take the facepalms.

    Well the funniest thing is Stephen Lang isn't even playing a Vendhyan. According to the script... he's an Acheronian. Apparently, since the film's Acheron dominated the whole world, that extended to Turan and beyond. Le sigh.

  3. Oh so its an Alternate History Conan story then " What if... Acheron dominated the world " .. All we need is Uatu the Watcher.

    Wouldn't this in fact mean that its not even the Hyborian age?

  4. Most likely. In this Alternate History, for example, for example, Acheron isn't even destroyed by the Hyborians: it collapses in a massive civil war between the King and Queen of Acheron. No mention of the Hyborians, the Heart of Ahriman, Xaltotun, nothing.

  5. Looking at it that way I'm in a much better position to actually watch and maybe even enjoy the movie. I always liked the What If.. series.

    maybe if they do a proper second one.. they can have Conan start awake on a tavern table, empty wine jug in his hand and go .. Crom! wtf did I eat.. and then we can have a proper movie.