Robert E. Howard in Scots: "The Song of the Bats"

The Sang o’the Bauchens

Screivit by Rabert E. Howard  

The huim wis oan the muntain
An the starns war grim an frail
Whan the bauchens came fleein, fleein
Frae the river an the laich
Tae wheel agin the gloamin
An cruin thair witchy yairn.

“We war kings o’ auld!” thay chaunted,
“Rowlers o’ a waurld enchanted;
“Ivery nation o’ creation
“Awnt oor lairdship owur men.
“Diadems o’ pouer crount us,
“Than ris Solomon tae confoond us,
“Flang his wab o’ magic roon us,
“In the form o’ beasts he boond us,
“Sae oor rowl wis braken than.”

Dirlin, wheelin intae wastwart,
Flew thay in thair phanton flicht;
Wis it but a weeng-bat muisic
Curmurrt throu the starn-gemt nicht?
Or the weengin o’ a ghaist clan
Whisperin o’ forgat micht?

Art by the inimitable* Virgil Finlay, a master in the art of illustrating inimicable horrors, courtesy of Monster Brains. Don't have nightmares this Hallowe'en... 

*Cheers Deuce Richardson!

Robert E. Howard in Scots: "Adventurer"

With Scotland and its future being predominant in my life at this stage, a great deal of that focus has been on Scottish culture and language. In particular, I've been looking deeper into the Scots language itself. I look at all the fine translations of great works into a multitude of languages, and think: why not Scots?

So while I'm absconded from my friends in Cross Plains and the world of Robert E. Howard, I think there's no better way to keep that connection alive than to continue translating Howard into the mither leid.

So, here's the latest. Hoping all my friends in Cross Plains have a wonderful adventure!

To A Bard

Is there a whim-inspired fool,

Owre fast for thought, owre hot for rule,

Owre blate to seek, owre proud to snool,

Let him draw near;

And owre this grassy heap sing dool,

And drap a tear.

Is there a bard of rustic song,

Who, noteless, steals the crowds among,

That weekly this area throng,

O, pass not by! 

But, with a frater-feeling strong,

Here, heave a sigh.

Is there a man, whose judgment clear

Can others teach the course to steer,

Yet runs, himself, life's mad career,

Wild as the wave,

Here pause-and, thro' the starting tear,

Survey this grave.

The poor inhabitant below

Was quick to learn the wise to know,

And keenly felt the friendly glow,

And softer flame;

But thoughtless follies laid him low,

And stain'd his name!
 

Reader, attend! whether thy soul 

Soars fancy's flights beyond the pole,

Or darkling grubs this earthly hole,

In low pursuit: 

Know, prudent, cautious, self-control

Is wisdom's root. 

 - Robert Burns, "A Bard's Epitah," 1786

The Company of Death

Last year at Howard Days, we were talking about the deaths of Miguel Martins and Ray Harryhausen. I'm pretty sure they'll be talking about Christopher Lee, Ron Moody, maybe even Dusty Rhodes. Two of our wee Scottish contingent in Arizona died, too. As Howard Days is scheduled around the anniversary of Howard's death, there is always that tinge of gloominess and melancholy. Death is ever present in Howard's company.

So today I decided to defy the company of Death. I read Howard stories and poems that weren't about mortality or war or murder. I played the new Lego Jurassic World game, having seen the film (a review is forthcoming), which avoided the more gruesome scenes in the movie with a loveable nod and a wink. I went around to a gaming night with a few good friends.

This should take my mind off Robert E. Howard!

We played HeroQuest. It was great fun, even if I could barely remember the rules, and I kept fudging the order of play - last time I played the game must've been the turn of the century. Nonetheless, we made a great wee story of a troupe of adventurers alternately mucking things up profoundly and heroically saving the day: the barbarian who went off on his own away from the group to kill goblins; the wizard who stumbled into a horde of Chaos warriors and barely escaped with his skin; the dwarf who cut a bloody swathe through a host of monsters; the elf who somehow managed to slay the most powerful monster in the dungeon with a single stroke.

Since the adventurers had ridiculous good fortune, we decided to make the monster a "load bearing boss," and suggested to have five turns before the dungeon caves in, trapping the entombing the heroes with the treasure they sought. The wizard used his air magicks to blow through the corridors and escape; the dwarf heroically stood by the entrance to ensure no monsters came, not leaving until every hero escaped; the barbarian had the awful luck of constantly running into frantic goblins barring his way. But the elf had the worst luck; brought low by a vengeful Chaos warrior. I guess you never can escape the company of death, even in board games.

I had a great night, knowing that my pals in Cross Plains were having a good time too. Some of them were even playing the new Conan RPG, which probably prompted my decision to go with HeroQuest. I'm glad to have them: we talked a bit of Howard at the table, too, as well as the usual current affairs, politics, films, books, and whatnot. Much like I would at Howard Days.

Hope everyone's having a great time in Cross Plains! Let us all drink to Howard's shade across the continents, united in the Company of Death.

The Fourth Scottish Invasion

Hope Blogger doesn't eat this one...

It's been a while since I've posted anything Howard-related. To be frank, I think I'm a bit burned out on REH, not just on the Encyclopaedia, but on REHupa, and keeping up to date on news and events. Combined with working on my burgeoning comic artist career, things might be light on the Howardian front for a while. I'm particularly frustrated that I haven't continued the "80 Years of Conan" despite being a year since I started it.

That said, I'm still going to Howard Days in June, where I'll be speaking on Robert E. Howard in comics. Unlike fellow Cimmerian blog alumnus Jeff Shanks, I'm not a collector and not much of an authority on the Marvel comics; unlike Mark Finn, I haven't been asked to write forewords and afterwords to Dark Horse collections. But I'll give it a shot all the same!

I also plan on attending the Phoenix comic convention. No William Shatner this year, sadly, but there are lots of others whose ears I plan on chewing off.  I'd be ecstatic to meet Bruce Boxleitner as a Babylon 5 aficionado, but if I get the chance, I'd like to see if I could pick his brain about Robert E. Howard, since he's a hardcore REH fan himself.  On the Star Trek side, Walter Koenig, Wil Wheaton and Nichelle Nichols will be in attendance: my young cousin would practically demand I get a picture from Wil, and I very much want to meet Ms Nichols. Uhura was one of my favourite Trek characters, and she just seems like such a lovely person.

Then there are others vaguely linked to Conan and REH like Brandon Sanderson, Dan Jurgens, Geof Darrow (heh), Jay Fotos, Nat Jones, Joshua Dysart, Michael A. Stackpole (who I still owe a signing!), Mike Mignola (who I'm just as anxious to meet for his work on Hellboy), Mike Norton, and a few others like the Pinis. Peter David wrote some rather fun Star Trek novels I enjoyed: I'd love to know if he based Mackenzie Calhoun on Conan/Kull, or if it was just a fun coincidence. Rice & Haggis has a Scotsman at their panel, who I'd like to show countryman support. Katelyn McCaigue's work interests me greatly. And I vividly remember Jolene Houser and Val Hochberg from a lovely panel they did last year on female comic writers, so it'd be nice seeing them again.

Another interesting semi-Howard connection is Christy Marx, most famous for Jem and the Holograms (a fixture of my early childhood, even without considering I had a babbie sister at the time) but also the story editor and writer for the much-maligned Conan the Adventurer. Much as I had severe issues with the cartoon, it's easy to see that a lot of the problems are borne from the very nature of making a Saturday morning cartoon show out of Conan to begin with: all things considered, I'm actually impressed with the number of Howardian elements that did make it into the show. Certainly more than the more mature-themed Marvel comics at the time bothered with, I'll tell you that much.

There are a few events and panels I might go to: Writing Believable Fantasy, Worldbuilding in Science Fiction and Fantasy and The Epic Fantasy Panel (even if Terry Brooks is there, boom boom!),  The Short Fiction Panel, Illustrating Your Own Work, The World of Sketch Cards, Webcomics 101, Historical Settings, Nichelle Nichols' panel, Star Trek and the Human Potential, Historical Fiction and Dystopian Fiction: Similarities and Differences, and An Animated Career. Some of these might overlap, so I'll check closer to the event.

Most hilariously, John Barrowman will be attending - hilarious, because I live only a hop, skip and a jump away from his childhood home Millport, and in fact the Weird Sisters often spend weekends over there with friends.  Their natural charm almost got Erin Gray hijacking them for the weekend last year: who knows what would happen if they came across Barrowman?

So I'll be in Arizona shortly, where I'll spend two weeks or so getting over the flight, exploring more of the arid alien landscape, catch up with old friends, and maybe a bit of blogging in between preparing for CP. Then on to the 36 West, where I'll hope to see more old friends and make new ones.

See you there, folks!

New Howard Days Videos, 80 Years of Conan, Et Ceteratatata

As I've said probably too many times, "The Frost-Giant's Daughter" is a really tough story to do justice, and I was pretty adamant in doing "80 Years of Conan" in the order Howard wrote the stories. That order shows far more "continuity" than any of the fan-made chronologies, and it offers greater insight into the creation of the stories altogether. However, it's really tough hewing parts 4 and 5, as they deal with a lot of mythological and literary sources, and it's easy for me to go off on tangents.

Therefore, rather than wait until I'm finished the rest of FGD or any one story, I've decided that if I ever get to a point like this, I'll skip ahead to the next one. That isn't to say "The God in the Bowl" isn't as worthy of FGD, far from it: I just believe that it's more straightforward.  So if I don't get Part 4 out in the next few days, I'll move on to GitB (though I'm obviously still working on FGD), which will probably just be one or two parts.  Then, if I discover there is more to GitB than I anticipated, I already have one post up, so I can go on to the next story, and so forth. Part of this is because I really want to finish this series by the end of the year - 80 Years of Conan, after all - but I also don't want to rush or overlook things either, and feel I was guilty of that in Part 3.

In the meantime, Ben's uploaded some more Howard Days videos for your perusal. Once again, I'll update my Scottish Invasion posts, but here they are for convenience:

Howard & Academia
with Jeff Shanks, Charles Hoffman and Mark Finn

 

What's New with REH
with Paul Herman, Rusty Burke and Jay Zetterburg 



Oh, and I have to comment on the wild speculation of a Hobbit Trilogy, which I'm tying in with a few other thoughts on Tolkien merchandising and Christopher Tolkien, but that's another post.

"Conan, And Why You Should Read Him" with Charles Hoffman

Charles Hoffman's Guest of Honour Speech for Howard Days 2012 was, naturally, Conan-centric given this year's theme.

  

As an aside, noticing Chuck's t-shirt reminded me of something Paul Sammon had said regarding Edgar Allan Poe: he had attended Nevermore: An Evening with Edgar Allan Poe, where Jeffrey Combs. Mark Finn shared a video he'd found with a few highlights, and as if Paul's recommendation wasn't enough to get me excited, now I really hope the show comes over to Britain:

 

Combs is a frighteningly close approximation of Poe, isn't he?

The Third Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains - Aftermath

After the Howard Days festivities, most of the gang was getting ready to leave, though some remained for Breakfast: Matthew, Paul, Barbara, Tim, Ed, Jim, Indy, Cheryl, Jeff, Chris and others. I talked to Tim about Scotland and its lore and Barbara about various subjects. One-by-one, sometimes two-by-two, we bid goodbye to them all. Eventually only me, the sisters, Barbara and Paul were left.

We packed our bags, getting ready for a treat: Paul Sammon invited us to the cinema to watch Prometheus. Originally this was to take place in the evening, but he had to reschedule for the afternoon, so we got ready quickly and head to Brownwood. I'll probably review Prometheus at some point: suffice to say, I liked it for its ideas and intent rather than its execution. We all discussed the film on the drive back, and we all agreed that it was a good film that we couldn't really get a full handle on. Aurelia met up with us in the late afternoon one last time before she head on home to Arizona.

Then we had dinner with Barbara at Dairy Queen, talking about such disparate subjects as dancing, cinemas, Howard fandom, our friends in Arizona, and Scottish colloquialisms. Also, to my absolute shock, I discovered that - at this particular restraunt, at least - you can buy milk at Dairy Queen. I am utterly astounded: either this was a relatively new thing, or somehow, my indignation at being unable to purchase a glass of milk at a place called Dairy Queen has made a difference. Probably the first.  But who knows.  Unfortunately they didn't have chicken caesar, so I made do with what I was told was thousand island (didn't look much like it to me, maybe it's like how gravy over here's different).

We got home and sat in the courtyard of 36 West, talking with Paul about the usual, whilst being eaten alive by bugs bugs bugs, hopefully giving them indigestion in the process. Then we said our goodbyes, and in no time at all we were back at Abilene Airport, then Dallas Fort Worth, then riding a metal bird across the sky.* While America and her people have been good to me, your home's your home, and I started to hum "Loch Lomond" as I recognized the glaikit moors and damp hills of my beloved Scotland.

Now I'll get back to work, as I want to use all the energy I've accumulated in America to get cracking on "80 Years of Conan," the encyclopaedia, and a couple of other secret projects. In the meantime, do go back and check Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, as I've updated them with a few more comments, and photographs. Can't wait for next year!


*I watched two films, Chronicle and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Chronicle was disappointing in that it was a very conventional film that happened to be told via found footage, borrowing liberally from Akira and just about every film that uses superpowers as metaphor for adolescent angst. It's the same issue as Cloverfield: despite the "realism" of the found footage style, the actors are all noticeably of that very American Teen Drama style of acting, and they're all ridiculously handsome. Kind of kills the verisimilitude they're going for when everyone looks like cast members of The OC. The villains of the piece are just preposterously over-the-top, so cartoonish and outlandish, you can't understand how they've survived this long without crossing the wrong person. And, most infuriating of all, they once again apparently live in a world where there are no superheroes. It's bad enough where Zombie movies refuse to use "the Z word," but fercryinoutloud, they have to look up telekineses in a book? I really hate this conceit in films, where by avoiding comparisons to other films in their own genre, they actually make the films more unrealistic in the process.  I refuse to believe that nobody in Cloverfield thought or said the word "monster," and I refuse to believe nobody used the word "superhero" in Chronicle.

Journey 2 was a affront to the work of Jules Verne (I'm as shocked and surprised as you are that the director of Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore was not in fact the second coming of Fleischer), but at least it has the dignity of explaining why it isn't a straight adaptation: like the previous film in the series, this treats the original Verne novels as based on real events, thus making them more like latter-day sequels than adaptations. I won't lie, there are two reasons I chose this over The Iron Lady: one, it had Dwayne Johnson, who I consider to be immensely entertaining when allowed to ad-lib; two, it promised monsters. I tell you one thing, this film had 100% more giant bees than The Iron Lady did, and 50% more monstrous reptiles. Louis Guzman almost ruined it with a truly heinous "comic relief" character, but Vanessa Hudgens provided ample enough distraction during those moments, and Michael Caine proved all those who thought he could sink any lower than Jaws: The Revenge very, very wrong.

The Third Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains - Day Three

Apologies for the tardiness of this post, but I'm just having too much fun, and hopefully the detail will make up for its late posting.

The Third Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains - Day 2

Now the fun begins with a new day!

NOTE: Fully updated, hence I'll be putting a break in.

The Third Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains: Day One

(Note: I'll still be posting "80 Years of Conan" posts, and I read all comments, but I probably won't get around to replying or posting until after Howard Days.  In the meantime, I'll be typing up quick reports at the end of each day.)

Well, this was a good day.  First off, the weather was fantastic (for me), in that the terrific storms which had rocked Dallas Fort Worth airport blanketed the land in a haze of rain, lasting long enough to cool the ground and air. It was almost like being back home, except rather than chilly and windy, the air itself was warm. Like being in a lukewarm shower. After three weeks in the blazing Arizona heat, I deeply appreciated it.

Howard Days Panel Videos

Sorry for the lack of updates again, various factors and all that.  Anyway, I had meant to post these in the Scottish Invasion posts (and will do so), but I might as well post the videos up so far here.

Ben Friberg has been providing a fantastic service for Howard fans everywhere, by posting videos of the panels from Howard Days up on Youtube. There are quite a few up there, so check out Ben's profile for more. For now, here are the first three panels from this year's Howard Days.

The Robert E. Howard Foundation Awards 2011

It's that time of year again!

This year, we have some new categories, new contenders, and some surprises.

Robert E. Howard Days Schedule Up

From REHupa, courtesy of Indy:

2011 HOWARD DAYS SCHEDULE SUMMARY VERSION

FRIDAY JUNE 10

8:30 – 9 am: Coffee and donuts at the Pavilion, compliments of Project Pride

9 am – 4 pm: Robert E. Howard House Museum open to the public.

9 am – 4 pm: REH Postal Cancellation at Cross Plains Post Office

9 am – 11 am: “Trailer” Tour of Cross Plains

10 am – 5 pm: Cross Plains Public Library open

11:00: PANEL: Howard Days History

Noon: Lunch hosted by Project Pride. Donations Welcome.

11:00 am to 4 pm: Pavilion available for REH items Swap Meet

1:00 pm: PANEL: History of REH fanzines

2:15 pm: PANEL: Howard’s Historicals

3:30 pm: PANEL: Conan Movie Trailers

5:30 – 6:30: Silent Auction items available for    viewing & bidding at Banquet site

6:30: Robert E. Howard Celebration Banquet & Silent Auction at the Cross Plains Community Center

Following the Banquet & Silent Auction: The Second Annual Robert E. Howard Foundation Awards at the Cross Plains Community Center

Afterward there will be some extemporaneous REH Poetry Reading at the Pavilion.

SATURDAY JUNE 11

9 am – 4 pm: Robert E. Howard House Museum open to the public.

9 am – 4 pm: BARBARIAN FESTIVAL in the large lot North of the Dollar Store on Main St.

10 am – 3 pm: Cross Plains Public Library open

10 am PANEL: To Be Announced

Noon to 4 pm: Pavilion available for REH items Swap Meet

Lunch & Festival Activities at your leisure during the day

1:00 pm PANEL: Damon Sasser/Dennis McHaney

2:15 pm PANEL: REH Historical Poetry

3:30 pm PANEL:What’s Up with REH? at the Pavilion

5 pm: Sunset BBQ at the Caddo Peak Ranch

The Robert E. Howard Foundation will host a Legacy Circle Members Luncheon 11:30 am Saturday at Jean’s Feed Barn.

The Robert E. Howard grave site: A visit to the Howard grave site at the Greenleaf Cemetery in Brownwood is not an “official” activity of REH Days. Directions are available at the Howard House, as are directions to Novalyne Price Ellis’ grave site between Brownwood and Bangs.

HOWARD DAYS PRE-REGISTRATION

PLEASE NOTE: You do not have to pre-register to partake of the weekend’s festivities. All are welcome to attend, visit the House and enjoy all of the activities free of charge. Project Pride likes to pre-register folks to get a head count of how many will be attending the Banquet. All the panels, tours, Swap Meet, BBQ etc. are presented at no cost. Your registration fee covers coffee & donuts Friday morning, lunch at the Pavilion Friday noon, the Friday Banquet and the Saturday BBQ.

The cost for pre-registration this year is $15 per person. Simply send your name(s) & address with a check or money order or register via PayPal (information forthcoming):
Project Pride
Attn: REH Days 2010 Pre-registration
PO Box 534
Cross Plains, TX 76443
Please pre-register before June 1, 2011.
And for only $3.00 more per person ($5.00 per family), you can become a card-carrying Member of Project Pride. Each membership can make a big difference for the House!

Oh boy! A detailed breakdown after the jump, as well as a few observations from last year (I had this whole ten-part "Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains" series planned, but procrastination has proven terminal.  Someday...)

The Second Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains: Howard Days 2011

After the monumental success of the Scottish Five's cross-continental expedition, it would only be a matter of months before it was repeated.  12, to be exact.  Bill "Indy" Cavalier has posted an update on Howard Days 2011.  Excitement!

This year, under the sponsorship of The Robert E. Howard Foundation and Project Pride of Cross Plains, with assistance from the Robert E. Howard United Press Association, our “theme” is all about Howard History. 2011 marks four unique anniversaries upon which will will devote our festivities. Cross Plains, Texas is already celebrating it’s 100th anniversary as an incorporated town (you can follow this on Facebook right now), it’s the 75th year of honoring the Legacy of REH, it’s the 50th anniversary of Glenn Lord’s benchmark Howard publication, The Howard Collector, and it’s the 25th anniversary of the very first Robert E. Howard Days.

Lest we forget another very important anniversary: the first anniversary of the Scottish Invasion of Cross Plains!  (I kid, I kid, ho ho ho)

Keeping that history angle in mind, we’ve chosen two Legendary REH publishers to be our Co-Guests of Honor this year: Damon Sasser and Dennis McHaney. Those of you familiar with Howard Fandom will of course recognize Damon and Dennis and we’re happy to have them at Howard Days to talk and be available to their legions of fans. Damon is the publisher of REH: Two-Gun Raconteur (“The definitive Howard Fanzine”) and runs the REH: TGR blog, and Dennis’ The Howard Review is his ultimate claim to fame (among others) in a nearly 40 year career as as a REH publisher. Dennis also runs the biggest REH message board at rehinnercircle.com.

I had the pleasure of meeting Dennis at Howard Days, though it was not without some trepidation: he'd been rather critical of The Cimmerian's post-Leo Grin run (not that the Grin regime was exempt from his criticisms), but I was so awed by the man's work for Howardom that I felt compelled to introduce myself all the same.  He was a thoroughly pleasant and erudite gentleman, and I'm very glad to have talked with him.  I didn't, unfortunately, spend much time talking to Damon Sasser: this will undoubtedly be rectified this year.

There’s lots more info to come here on the REHupa site, plus there’ll be info at the REH Foundation site, Damon’s TGR blog and Conan.com. We’re in the process of setting up the scheduling for Howard Days, plus there’ll be some truly fantastic events happening if everything falls into place this year. All of the familiar fan-friendly events are still happening: House & Town tours, Banquet & Silent Auction, Swap Meet, Postal Cancellation, Saturday BBQ plus a plethora of interesting panels & hopefully some special events.

Ok, if that’s not enough enticement, keep your radio dial tuned here for updates and more detailed information. In the meantime, shouldn’t you be making your plans to get to Howard Days this year? We’ll be looking for you! Y’all come!

Woohoo!  I have the hotel booked, tickets bought, and working on how best to keep cool.  I'm thinking a Bedouin suit - thawb, sirwal, kafiya - but combined with my beard, I'd probably give the locals a bit of the heeby-jeebies.  I could always pretend I'm dressed up as Kirby O'Donnell.  Or T.E. Lawrence after a few years not shaving.

DAAAAAH daaaaah... daah-duuuuh-daaah-daaah-DAAAAAH daaaaah....

Barbarian Days, Or, Celebrating Robert E. Howard While Wearing Funny Hats

I'm so there.

Every year, fans flock to tiny Cross Plains, Texas to honor the the literary works of the town's most famous resident: Robert E. Howard. The acclaimed pulp writer is known for creating such characters as Conan the Barbarian and Kull the Conqueror, and the spirit of those characters live on through Howard's fans who find hope in his pages and unity in his memory.

It's essentially "The Howard Days Story," which sounds absolutely brilliant.  The first REHupa trip to Cross Plains, which would become "Howard Days," will be celebrating its 25th Anniversary, so it's a pretty great time to do a retrospective.

There's a four minute teaser here.

EDIT: For some reason I persistently think it's the 25th Anniversary of REHupa, when it's actually the 38th.  Mitra protect me from my own numbskullery, and eternal thanks to Rusty for patiently correcting my nonsense.