The King's Mitramas Message

 Art by Gigi.

After his Accession on the Day of the Lion in the Year of the Elk, The King issued his first Mitramas Message from his balcony at Tamar. In his message, he paid tribute to his supporters, and asked people to remember him at the time of his official Coronation the following year.

Each Yuluk, at this time, the King of Aquilonia spoke to his people from this grand balcony. Today, by your will and consent, I am doing this to you, who are now my people.

I was born in Cimmeria, the son of a blacksmith with no royal blood. In many ways, I was no different to the rude savages who founded the ruling dynasties of this kingdom so many thousands of years ago, they who founded this land on iron and sinew. My predecessor and his kin could trace their lineage for a thousand years, but they showed precious little kingly aptitude in government. By Crom, I may have no royal blood, but it is as red as anyone's from the painted nobles of Pellia to the lowliest beggar of Shamar, and none have spilt their blood as freely for this nation as I!

Palaeontology Weeps in a Jurassic World

It's been... jings, over four months!?! As many of you will know, I've been very preoccupied over the last few months, but with that over, I'm getting back to normal - if you can call it "normal."

Since I was talking about dinosaurs, I feel like I should make a few comments about the Jurassic World trailer, especially after my typically far-too-detailed analysis.

Of course, you cannot trust a trailer to always give an accurate representation of a film, yet at the same time, I'm not sure what I think.

The Dinosaurs of Jurassic World

Taking a brief break from work on my various projects to do a wee post. What about, what about...

Dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs.

Robert E. Howard in Scots: "Men of the Shadows" (Poem)

Ever since my first post on the subject, I've wanted to try my hand at translating some more Howard into Scots. Of course, the problem with Broad Scots is that it varies so much by region: Doric is distinct from Lallans, Ulster from Orcadian, and so forth. As such, I looked mostly to the writings of Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott, Robert Fergusson, John MacPherson, John Buchan and Lewis Grassic Gibbon.

I've tried a balance between including as many Scots words as possible, while also not "overdoing" it and making it a pile of gibberish.

Men o' th' Shadaes

Frae th' blee reid daw o' Creation,

Frae th' rouk o' timeless time,

Cam we, th' first gey nation,

First on th' upwart clim.

Savage, untaucht, unkennin,

Glaumin' thro' eildit nicht,

Yet mirkly keppin th' lowin',

Th' hint o' th' comin Licht.

Raikin th' lands untraivelt,

Biggin oor laundmerks o' stane.

Doutitly gresping at glore,

Gaupin ayont oor ken

Dummly th' eildins' lore

Naurin on carse an fen.

See, hou th' Tint Gleed smouders,

We are ane wi' th' eons' maun.

Nations hae trod on oor shouders,

Pauterin us intae th' coum.

We, th' first o' th' rmenyie,

Airtin th' Auld an th' New―

Leuk, whaur th' sea-clood aurie

Blandin wi' ocean-blae.

So we hae blandit wi' eildins,

An th' yird-wind oor eshes steers,

Vainisht are we frae Time's pages,

Oor Myndin? Wind in th' firs.

Stonehenge o' faur-yont glore

Mirksome an lane in th' nicht,

Curmur th' eildit lore

Hou we kinnelt th' first o' th' licht.

Speak, nicht-winds, o' man's creation,

Whisper ower craig an fen,

Th' sang o' th' first gey nation,

Th' lest o' th' Stane Eild men.

Pict (or Caledonian), who lived in northeastern Scotland in Late Iron Age / Early Mediaeval times;William Howitt, John Cassell, John Cassell's Illustrated History of England: From the earliest period to the reign of Edward the Fourth., Editor: John Frederick Smith, Publisher W. Kent and Co., 1857. Page 6

Cinniúint na Déithe: Clontarf 2014

Mr. Bates,
New York City.

Dear Mr. Bates:

You may, or you may not have noticed my work in Weird Tales, Oriental Stories, Ghost Stories, Fight Stories, Action Stories, and Argosy; but that doesnt matter so much. The point is, I’m deeply interested in the intention of your company to bring out a new magazine devoted entirely to historical tales. I want very much to do business with this magazine, and would appreciate any pointers you might give me as to how to make the market [in case this story is not acceptable]._ I realize that editors do not have time to give detailed criticisms; but just a line or a few words scrawled on a rejection slip would help me wonderfully.

I’m hoping you can use this tale – “Spears of Clontarf” which I am enclosing. It deals with a phase in history too much neglected by writers – that of the Dano-Irish wars which culminated in the final shattering of the Viking power at the battle of Clontarf. Those days of war and rapine represent an age crammed with vital drama, enough to supply a hundred thrilling volumes.

Requiescat in Pace, Miguel Martins

I've typed, deleted, retyped this post a dozen times now. Nothing seems adequate. I'm just so frustrated and sad and bewildered and baffled.

Still Remembering Steve

It's been 5 years now. I wish he could be here to give his thoughts on new Howard and Tolkien developments, the Hobbit films, the 1,000th anniversary of the Battle of Clontarf, everything. Even that ridiculous Shadow of Mordor game. But he's surely not forgotten:

Before his death in 2009 Steve Tompkins was probably the most erudite of the Howard scholars on the scene. Now, Leo Grin has received the blessing of Steve’s family and put out a call for material by the late, great critic. Here’s what he’s looking for:
• As complete a bibliography as possible of what Steve published in various fanzines, websites, and comic book letter columns.
• e-texts of these items, either from the original Word docs, or from OCR.
• scans of the actual printed pages, to compare to the e-texts as necessary when editing.
• any email correspondence or paper letters anyone cares to share. Where personal confidences must be retained, strip out the offending passages and replace them with a “***REDACTED***” placeholder.
• Any remembrances of things Steve said to you in person or over the phone, no matter how fleeting or seemingly trivial. Just tell the story and context as best you can. Doesn’t have to be composed for deathless publication, just the facts for now.
If anyone would like to help in this endeavor, shoot us an email at info@rehfoundation.org and we’ll get you in touch with Mr. Grin.

I'm hopeful we'll have a concrete book to supplement the undoubtedly rich legacy left behind.

Bite-Sized Blog: On Conan, REH and The Times In Which He Lived

“Crom!” It was an explosive imprecation from Conan’s lips as he started up, his great fists clenched into hammers, his veins on his temples knotting, his features convulsed...

In case anyone's wondering: I've not been up to much due to an attack of bruxism, which has resulted in me biting into my left cheek to the point where it feels like someone takes a pair of pliers to my jaw muscles every hour or two. Luckily it's starting to heal now, though I'll be needing gumshields and whatnot. Stayed in most of the last week washing my mouth with benzydamine and whisky.

Hopefully nothing interesting's happened in my absence, like a new Conan movie that's actually an adaptation of one of the original stories being announced with Patrice Louinet taken on board as advisor. 

Because that would just be the worst timing ever.

8-Year-Old Aly Reviews: Walking With Dinosaurs IN 3D CANCELLED

29-year-old Aly here. A while ago, I saw Walking With Dinosaurs in 3D, figuring it would make for a good 8-year-old review. But unfortunately shortly after returning from the cinema, 8-year-old Aly was suddenly unwell, and is now in his room with a hot toddy.

Please ignore the ominous rumbling, I assure you there is nothing to worry about...

Burns' Nicht 2014

(Cross-posted from the Bannockburn Comic Blog)

Wikipedia handily translates into English and Gaelic.

Most Scots, and I'm sure a fair good few non-Scots, know about this auld sang, but for those that don't: "Robert Bruce's March to Bannockburn," known more commonly as "Scots Wha Hae," was written by Scotland's most celebrated poet Robert Burns in 1793. Though the speech itself is conjectural, it was written to the tune of "Hey Tuttie Tati," a traditional Scottish tune of ancient lineage, which was widely believed to have been played by the Scottish troops at Bannockburn.