Day 365...

To Whomever finds this message...

It has been a year to the day since I was trapped in this strange, threatening place.  I cannot easily describe it, for it changes on a whim: some days it's a desert island, then after a night's sleep, it seems to transform into the surface of the moon. No rhyme or reason, no pattern, no predictions.  I could spend a day on the top of a freezing mountain, or weeks in a lightless subterranean cavern.  Most mysterious of all, I always find resources and supplies roughly nearby: whether they were left here by some predecessor, or placed here by whatever nameless presence is keeping me here, I cannot say.

Two hundred and thirty mission logs have been sent in whatever vessel I hope will reach civilization.  Since then, many things have occurred: I've been in contact with authors, journalists, artists and scholars; I've taken the banner of Howardom all across the internet; I've conversed with a little community of like minds.  On occasion, I've found that I can interact with the outside world, yet I suspect my messages are being tampered with, for in none of the responses do my contacts address my situation.  Something doesn't want the world to know I am here - but they will let people know I exist.  Why?

Currently, the place has the form of a jungle.  There is something in the bushes.  Big.  No telling what's lurking out there.  Better check it out...

---

So it's been a year to the day that The Blog That Time Forgot went online.  It's been great fun, and I'm immensely appreciative of everyone who's commented, read, linked or lurked here.

I think it's about time the place got a little decoration: I'll be overhauling the site over the next week.  It won't be too different, I hope, but it'll be nicer to look at.

Once again, thanks to everyone!

Fan Works and Mark Finn on El Borak

I might be quite sparse on TBTTF for a while, working on a big project (hint: it involves the alphabet), so for now, here are two cool little pieces of news to ruminate on.

First is the Robert E. Howard Forum's opening up of a new subsection for fan creations:

After many starts and stops, back and forth discussions, death knells and forlorn hopes, Fan Fiction has finally been approved for these forums.

Over the next few days a new forum will be added to the General Discussions family. This forum will be used for all fan material, including fiction, artwork, screenplays and poetry.

This means the existing poetry thread and the many amateur art threads will be relocated to this new home.

At present I am finalizing the rules for posting, but I wanted to give everyone a head's up.

Now let's see some of those creative juices....

You know what that means, chaps & chapettes?  Now we have pretty much official approval to engage in expansions to Howard's legend - in the hands of fans.  There are already a few fan creations dotted about the forums, so it'll be good to see this all in one place.  This just adds more incentive for me to get Born Out Of Shadowed Hills finished...

Another quick link to a question & answer session with Mark Finn with Damon Sasser of Robert E. Howard: Two Gun Raconteur:

Damon: I understand you are writing an original story for the first issue – can you share any details?

Mark: Well, I don’t want to give anything away, because it’s only 8 pages. But this was my charge: show the readers what makes El Borak such a bad-ass. I can tell you it’s about six and a half pages of El Borak doing what he does best: sword-fighting, shooting, riding, and in general taking care of business. In terms of the later Gordon stories, there’s only a handful to make Canon: the range of what El Borak does and can do is more implied than stated in those stories. So, I tried to do another twist on exactly the kinds of things El Borak would do in the course of his adventures. You know, it’s not El Borak making a bid for tribal warlord, or anything like that. I cleaved very closely to the REH stories. But, since it’s a comic book, too, I dropped in something that could be picked up for later, if necessary. I can tell you that this takes place about six months or so after “Hawks of the Hills.”

Now, just watch. When the book comes out, someone, probably someone we both know, will lambast me on the Conan forums: “El Borak would NEVER do those things, or talk like that!” (Laughs)

I'm sure you wouldn't have it any other way, Mark!

Midnight Madness: Conan the Barbarian

I'm keeping busy with a couple of projects, but I just wanted to share this with everyone.

In between penning Apocalypse Now and establishing his position as chief propagator of Republican revenge fantasies with films like Red Dawn and Clear And Present Danger, writer-director John Milius introduced the world to Arnold Schwarzenegger, and through him, Conan The Barbarian. 

This sentence is a bit worrying: is it saying that John Milius introduced the world to Conan the Barbarian the film, or Conan the Barbarian the character?

Milius’ 1982 film (reworked from a script by Oliver Stone) plays with the same surprisingly subtle themes as the Robert E. Howard pulp stories that inspired it. In telling the tale of Conan’s vendetta against Thulsa Doom—the dark shaman and cult leader who slaughtered Conan’s people—Milius ruminates on the relation between civilization and violence, with references ranging from Nietzsche to Genghis Khan.

Notice how the article gives the distinct impression that "the tale of Conan’s vendetta against Thulsa Doom—the dark shaman and cult leader who slaughtered Conan’s people" is inspired by Howard, and that among Howard's "surprisingly subtle themes" are "references ranging from Nietzsche to Genghis Khan."

Articles like this come up all the time, sadly.

Almuric... 2!?!

I'm really enthused to be name-dropped... well, anywhere.  Makes me feel all important-like.  Over at Black Gate, Tom Doolan talks about Almuric, and mentions the introduction to my series.  It occured to me that I haven't done anything on Almuric in months.  Nor have I continued the Gazetteer, Barbarians of Middle-earth, Frazetta & Howard, or The Land That Time Forgot.  Have to do something about that.

However, Tom drops an absolute bombshell late in the article:

Of significant note to fans, a sequel titled Almuric: Lost Gods is being written for release later this year by Mark Ellis, a prolific adventure writer who has contributed numerous additions to the Outlanders and Deathlands series from Gold Eagle.

A sequel to Almuric?

Nomination for the 2010 F-ING MEN award (© Tex): Patrice Louinet, Jim Keegan and Leo Grin

There's a pantheon of Howard scholars who have contributed so much to the legacy of Howard studies, I imagine there are statues of them in some imaginary pantheon.  Patrice Louinet has once again proven why he should be counted among them, as he provides high definition scans (some courtesy of the Keegans and Leo Grin, so they deserve an equal share of the award) of all known photographs of REH on the Robert E. Howard Forums!

Well, this certainly explains his Conan pastiches.

Suddenly I have the overwhelming urge to write a new crossover: Conan vs the Street Sharks...

I haven't read any of Steve Perry's pastiches.  Nearly everyone I've talked to has told me to avoid, avoid, avoid - even those who like the pastiches. They appear to be for Conan completists only.  Still, this was a long time ago, so I assumed that Perry's dalliance with Conan was a relic of the past.  Until I came across this.

I'm unsure if this is the same Steve Perry who brought us such masterpieces as Conan the Fearless, Conan the Defiant, Conan the Indomitable, Conan the Freelance and Conan the Formidable, but if it is, then it's truly illuminating.

Conan Fan Film: Conan and the Tower of Tara Teth

jdraks announced over at the Robert E. Howard Forums that his brand new short Conan film was finished.

And...

It's Conan and the Tower of Tara Teth.

Another Shield in the Wall

There's a bit of electricity in the air.  I think something's coming: a teaser, a poster, an announcement.  News about the Conan film has been trickling, but very little of substance.  And as more news about Conan comes up, so more discussion about its relation to Howard and Conan the Barbarian will come up.

So we come to Arnold Sucked As Conan.

In an introductory post, DC outlines his plans for the blog. He notes that he isn't sticking purely to Arnold's conception of the character, but the film in general.  Something I'm most interested in is his plan to address some of the more ludicrous elements: in addition to the divergences from Howard, DC will discuss the silliness of the Wheel of Pain, and how it would not, in fact, be a particularly good way to build a Nietzchean Superman.  Crom knows there are many silly bits of this ilk in the film - the preposterous weapons of Rexor and Thorgrim and the woefully inaccurate sword-forging, for instance.

The first proper post discusses one of the most famous moments in the film - as well as one of the least Howardian.

And... well, he did suck as Howard's Conan.  I foresee many angry posts by Milius/Arnold/Stone fanboys attempting to argue otherwise, but ultimately, DC has the facts - not to mention the Robert E. Howard Shieldwall - on his side.  The only way one could argue that Arnold Did Not Suck As Conan is to say that he played the role Milius wrote for him - but that's not the scope of the blog, and besides the point.  The point is to illustrate why Arnold Sucked As Robert E. Howard's Conan, which is the point of contention between Howardists and Conan the Barbarian fans - in those occasions when we're dealing with two opposing points of view. There are certainly many people who are both Howard fans and CtB fans.  As I labour to point out, I am a fan of Conan the Barbarian.  I'm also a fan of the film and novel Starship Troopers.  Being a fan of both doesn't mean I'm not going to take a side.

Need More Hits? Just Add Bosoms!

It turns out that a post I made two weeks ago over at Conan Movie Blog has been popular.  Crazy popular: as of this posting, over fifteen thousand individual views since it was originally posted! And I think I have the bosoms to thank.  Sites as diverse as Beyond Hollywood, Cinema Blend, Screen Junkies, JoBlo, Furious Fanboys, Worst Previews, Fused Film, even one of my favourite places, Topless Robot, are linking to the two week old post.  I'd complain that they're awfully late to the party, but really, why complain given the hits we're getting?

Mysterious Anonymous Posters, Vanishing Comments, and What Is A Feminist?

Something odd happened just the now: I got an email alert saying an anonymous poster left a comment at my discussion of Alison Flood's review of a Tanith Lee book, and the discussion of Howard therein.  Yet when I went over there, it had mysteriously vanished.  I can only assume Blogger fouled up, because I know I sure didn't delete it.  In any case, I felt the comment needed to be addressed, because the honour of Howardom was at stake.   

Someone was wrong.  On the Internet.