The Fine Line Between Homage and Ripoff

I'm not enamored with Kurt Busiek's run on Conan. For all the awesomeness of The Tower of the Elephant, there's a Born on the Battlefield to shake everything apart.  But then, that's for another time.  From what I can gather, Busiek is well-regarded in the comics world for his work.

His latest creation is... rather familiar...

Pastiches 'R' Us: Ryan Harvey Inadvertently Destroys De Camp

Full confession time: I haven't read Conan of the Isles.  I have, however, read Roy Thomas' adaptations of various De Camp/Carter pastiches in the recent Marvel reprints courtesy of Dark Horse, and from what I can gather, Thomas was - unfortunately - as faithful to De Camp as he was to Howard. Admirable on Thomas' part, but leads to a lot of infuriated spluttering on my part. Like Conan the Liberator. To hell with that.

Agnes the Barbarian Review Reviews: SF Appeal

It's refreshing to have another subcategory for the "Review Reviews," this time for Agnes the Barbarian.  This time, SF Appeal (SF for San Francisco).

One of the dumbest things a theatre company can do in establishing a play's mood is to the waste the first opportunity they have to make an impression. From the moment someone walks into a theatre, they are at some level, immersed in the world of the play--even if the curtain has yet to rise. Most companies fill this pre-show space with music but few are particularly deliberate about their song choices. Sure, there's generally a wide-swath effort to pair upbeat pop songs with whimsical comedies and morose ballads with heart-rending dramas, but rarely does a song played before a show tell you exactly what to expect the moment the actors come onstage.

Thunderbird Theatre Company's world premiere comedy, Agnes the Barbarian, is a welcome exception.

So, it starts off well. Then...

Before playwright Jason Harding' s hilarious a-historical farce, Tenacious D's "Wonderboy" blasted over the theatre's sound system. Tenacious D, a band comprised of comic actors Jack Black and Kyle Gass, lovingly mocks area rock clichés by embracing them so wholeheartedly they're rendered even more patently ridiculous then they were originally. "Wonderboy" is the band's self-aggrandizing origin story, in which our heroes meet for the first time, band together on an epic quest and slay a ferocious beast.

So... area rock is patently ridiculous, then?  The thing is, Tenacious D love that stuff.  They can't get enough of it.  Mocking is something you do to something you hate.  It's taunting via shallow imitation.  Poking fun at something you love is something else altogether: self-deprecation.  Self-deprecation is parody: mockery is satire.  And satire isn't always funny, nor is it always intended to be so.

Tinged with Led Zeppelin's penchant for heavy riffs and mystical imagery, the song is a perfect corollary for Agnes The Barbarian, a play that follows the same basic structure (young hero sets out on adventure, meets friends along way and ends up successfully running her sword through something evil) and has a similar relationship with its source material: a blend of genuine appreciation and the kind of smirking condescension without which good farce is impossible.

"Smirking Condescension" is something without which a good farce is entirely possible - I'd even say it's what separates the gems from the detritus. There's a difference between honest lampooning of faults or tropes, and being condescending about it: most notably, a distinct lack of maturity. Compare the likes of Airplane! and High Anxiety to Meet the Spartans and the ____ Movie series: the former are permeated with "genuine appreciation" for the source material, while the latter seem to treat their sources with little more than thinly-veiled, sarcastic contempt - or "smirking condescension." The gap in quality between the two groups is vast: while affection for the source material may not be required, and I'm not seeking to prove some sort of correlation, it seems to be the case that more good parodies have a decent amount of affection in them than the bad ones do.

Of course, good satire is a different animal, but even then, smirking condescension is surely less powerful than biting, belligerent wit.  The most powerful satires are pointed, savage and relentless - so much so, that it's as likely to result in deathly silence as to riotous laughter.  Satire and parody are two very different things, and it's clear Agnes is a parody.

Besides which, I can't really see a use for smirking condescension in any context, save one to provide an excuse for a good skelp on the cheek. Condescension in any shape or form is irritating in the extreme.

The source material here is the post-stone age, pre-Roman world of swords and sorcery created in the 1930s by Texas writer Robert E. Howard and inhabited by Conan the Barbarian, Krull the Conqueror and pretty much every character ever played by Kevin Sorbo.

I... I... I got nothing. The reviewer seems to be under the delusion that the Hyborian Age takes place during recorded history. And that Conan and "Krull" shared the same epoch. And that Kevin Sorbo only played one REH character (and even then that's seriously pushing it), and I sure can't remember Howard ever writing about wisecracking Hercules or Captain Dylan Hunt. The silly person can't even take a few seconds to check Wikipedia to get Kull's name right. I guess this is the sort of "smirking condescension" he or she is talking about. Hate to break it to ya, kiddo, but condescension doesn't work when the person you're talking down to knows you're talking complete balderdash.

Aging, balding, increasingly corpulent and perennially shirtless, Conan (ably played by the playwright) has ruled Aquilonia with not quite an iron fist for decades, but is currently vexed by both the constant stream of paperwork given to him by his scheming, corporate-style advisers intent on destroying the kingdom and his ever-rebellious daughter, Agnes.

See, Agnes doesn't want to be a barbarian. She much prefers the Utopian, left-wing ideals espoused by her unseen pen pal to the violent, ignorant way of her barbarian, Crom worshipping forbears. Conan hates how Agnes, "struts about the castle, fully dressed, reading books," and wishes instead she was more like a traditional barbarian woman, "more of a smolderer or a temptress." But like most parents, his most serious complaint is that she always leaves her dirty laundry on the floor of the throne room instead of in the hamper where it belongs.

Based on what parts of the script Jason sent me, I could at lest rely on him in some parts (Elseworlds Conan, Elseworlds Conan, Elseworlds Conan...) but I never could've imagined him taking the title role!  Heh, above and beyond, methinks.

Conan's advisers, who have conned him into getting bogged down in a war to eliminate a foreign power's weapons of mass destruction (namely zombies and catapults) that turned out to be as imaginary as their real-life counter-parts, need Agnes dead to complete their plan.

Unfortunately, not everything really works. WMD gags were overplayed when the WMD controversy was new. And if you're going to look for commentary on the Iraq war (or at least the applicability of such a work to current events) one needn't go further than the source:

Such a wave of enthusiasm and rejoicing as swept the land is frequently the signal for a war of conquest. So no one was surprized when it was announced that King Tarascus had declared the truce made by the late king with their western neighbors void, and was gathering his hosts to invade Aquilonia. His reason was candid; his motives, loudly proclaimed, gilded his actions with something of the glamor of a crusade. He espoused the cause of Valerius, “rightful heir to the throne”; he came, he proclaimed, not as an enemy of Aquilonia, but as a friend, to free the people from the tyranny of a usurper and a foreigner.
- The Hour of the Dragon, Robert E. Howard... written in 1935

I'm dreading the LotR comparisons if "The Phoenix on the Sword" ever gets an adaptation...

Much like in Harold Ramis's uneven, yet underrated, Year One, most of the humor in Agnes the Barbarian comes from anachronism--the incongruity of trying to apply our modern sensibilities to an unrepentantly pre-modern time.

I haven't seen Year One yet. My distaste for Michael Cera and ambivalence to Jack Black (how I loathe and like him) notwithstanding, this sounds an awful like the sort of stuff not just Terry Pratchett, but Monty Python was doing too. Life of Brian, anyone?

Evil sorceresses have to deal with ex-boyfriends who call them relentlessly, and crossbow wielding assassins talk like they just walked off the set of The Sopranos. The aforementioned royal advisers assure their victims that their evil deeds are, "nothing personal, only business" and make everyone sign everything in triplicate. Unlike some of the show's baser running gags, the humor of anachronism never gets old, thanks to the sharp characterizations and snappy pacing.

That, too, sounds extremely Pratchettesque.

Even though the show is essentially a follow-up to Arnold Schwarzenegger breakout role...

On that, I think we can agree, given the frightening similarities Agnes the Barbarian shares with King Conan: Crown of Iron.  (And only one of them's meant to be a parody!)

... the figure looming large over the production isn't one based in Sacramento--it's Mel Brooks. From its incessant breaking of the fourth wall and winking pop-culture references to its Borscht Belt comic sensibility, Agnes the Barbarian could be presented as Mel Brooks's take on the fantasy genre without anyone batting an eyelash.

Mel Brooks! That's another one.  Man, if I were Jason, to be considered in the same sentence as Mel Brooks would be awesome (unless Jason doesn't like Mel Brooks for some unholy reason).

So it seems Agnes the Barbarian succeeds with the general crowd who don't know their Robert E. Howard from their Robert E. Lee - I suspected it would, since the novelty is there, and it sounded like the sort of crowd-pleasing thing one would get.  I haven't yet heard from any Californian Howard fans on the production, though.  I guess that'll be Agnes the Barbarian's hardest battle.  In the meantime, I suspect further reviews will be of this ilk - next to no knowledge of the source material outside of the films and maybe the comics, assuming that having Conan being swamped by paperwork and courtly bureaucracy is some sort of gag in itself, and that Agnes' bookish, independent, politically-minded daughter would be nothing like any of Howard's heroines.  Ah, well, at least he didn't bring up the suicide or some of the more stupid "factoids," or blame something from the films on Howard.

... Sacramento?

Robert E. Howard, or, What's in a Name?

"That teller of marvelous tales, Robert Howard, did indeed create a giant [Conan] in whose shadow other 'hero tales' must stand."

– John Jakes, New York Times bestselling author of the "North and South" trilogy

I can never quite decide whether this is something I should necessarily be bothered about or not.

The man's name was Robert E. Howard.  That's what he's credited as on the manuscripts and publications, indicating that's the name he'd like to go by.  Ergo, the man should be referred to as Robert E. Howard, or Howard.  In a pinch, the informal use of Bob Howard or REH would do.

However, there are certain combinations of Howard's name that, for some reason or another, irk me.  I've seen it rendered as Robert Howard (as in the above John Jakes soundbyte), R. E. Howard (as quoth by James Purefoy in a BBC interview) and even R. Howard (as emblazoned on the cover of Wordsworrth's The Right Hand of Doom and Other Tales of Solomon Kane).  I don't know exactly why it annoys me, but it does.  Perhaps it's because other people aren't as fast and loose with other authors' names.  You never hear, for example, Jo Rowling, or Joanne Kathleen Rowling, or even Joanne Murray: it's always J. K. Rowling.  Same with Stephen King: nobody calls him Stephen E. King, or S. E. King.  I couldn't possibly list the number of variations of J.R.R. Tolkien that could be made, yet nobody strays from the standard.

So why does Howard run the gamut from Robert E. Howard, to Robert Howard, to R. E. Howard, to R. Howard?  Are people really that unaware?  Do they just not care?  Do they - dare I say it - throw their hands in the air with a Care Bear Stare?  (Sorry, I got into an Infinite Causality Rhyming Loop for a moment)

It just seems anathema to me.  Who knows, maybe I'm just really finicky or something.  I'll just go back and sort my Henry R. Haggard from my E. R. Burroughs, see if I can find that Terence Hanbury White that's been running about, and put the G. Raymond R. Martin and Lyon S. D. Camps collections back on the shelf.

... See how annoying it is?

EDIT: And as if to prove my point, I came across another R.E. Howard. What gives?  Still, this is worth a look, since he talks about Breck Elkins and the accompanying webcomic.  Cool stuff.

Agnes the Barbarian in Action

Agnes the Barbarian - Map Thy Quest from Brad Robertson on Vimeo.

A bit of silly fun from the cast of Agnes the Barbarian, where we get to see a taste of the actors (including Jamie Lee Currie as the titular lass, looking rather Xena-esque) and their characters.  The costumes aren't half bad either, considering the scale of the company and production.

There are three others: the lament of an evil sorceress whose heart just isn't in it, proper etiquette between rival necromancers, and Conan himself engaging in Kingly Decorum.  (Those Howardists with a sensitive disposition may wish to avoid that last one - remember, Elseworlds Conan!)

Deadliest Warrior: The Video Game

Finally, we can re-do Deadliest Warrior's fights right... At least, that's the idea.  I'd love to have the Viking destroy the Samurai, the Knight obliterate the Pirate, and everything in between.

I hate Deadliest Warrior.

Robert E. Howard Movie Review Reviews: Richard Scheib's Moria

Originally, I was going to take Richard Scheib's movie reviews one at a time, but seeing as he recently put up his Solomon Kane review, I feel I might as well do them all.

Another Custom Conan Action Figure

Would you believe it, another one's popped up - and there's more on the way.

Hey Folks!

I'm really excited about my new series of custom figures of which this is the first. I am working on a series of custom figures based on Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian, specifically inspired by John Buscema's magazine work, but also inspired by other sources such as the work of Frank Frazetta, my own imagination, and my own interpretations of the descriptions taken directly form Howard's writings.

Well, as you can see, this is a pretty damn close approximation of Big John's Big Cimmerian.  However, this isn't the only figure Miked (Mike D?) is working on:

I thoroughly enjoyed this guy and am looking forward to presenting my current wips: Frost Giant, Turanian soldier, Pictish warrior, Vanir warrior, Hyrkanian archer..... and more! Thanks for looking and as always comments are appreciated! 

This is very interesting to me. Plenty of folk do Conan action figures, but not so many choose to depict other aspects of the Hyborian Age - a grave oversight, given the sheer majesty and colour of the setting. Buscema's Picts are pretty good inspirations (hope Miked doesn't miss the great white skulls painted on his chest and face), and the Barry Smith Vanir & Frost Giants are more or less accurate too.  I hope his Turanian archer sports the famous spired helm and tigerskin cloak.

As for "more," maybe we'll be seeing Bêlit and Valeria. I sure hope so!

Had enough of people mining Harryhausen for soulless remakes?

Too bad!



Why.

Just... why.  I mean, there's ripping off Bradbury, and there's outright plagiarism.  "In Dynamation!" it boasts - Harryhausen should sue.  Not to mention this comes hot on the heels of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and Mishmash of the Cretins, a truly Asylum-esque marketing ploy.  (I haven't seen Prince of Persia since my last experience with a mythologically-tinted movie was... unpleasant.) About the only good thing about the production - that being they finally have an ethnic Persian as Sinbad - is wasted since for some reason this Sinbad is bald.

SF Masterworks: How Many Have You Read?

You know the drill!