Solomon Kane's DVD release number 1 in sales

According to Michael J. Bassett's blog, Solomon Kane did well on its first day on disc:

I was also told that Solomon Kane was the number one selling Blu Ray and DVD in the UK on the day of its release.  We beat out The Lovely Bones, which is nice, since that beat us at the cinemas.

Well done everyone involved. I've ordered the DVD from Amazon, and intend on reviewing it as soon as I get my grubby mits on it.  It'll be interesting to see if my original thoughts apply, or if it's better/worse than I remember. 

What Happened to Geoff Darrow's Conan 25 Cover?

From Bleeding Cool:

Recently, Dark Horse heavily teased and promoted its upcoming wraparound cover to Conan #25 by Geoff Darrow, scheduled for September, the last issue before the relaunch

And while official solicitations have yet to be released, I understand that the cover may have to be withdrawn. Robert E. Howard Properties has objected to it being… too.. violent. For a Conan book. Blimey. That’s something.

Yeah... no.  I'd guess that the cover would be withdrawn because it is useless.

I have nothing against Geoff Darrow, but given what I've seen of his work, he could've done something more appropriate.  Way more appropriate.  His cover is a parody, and fan reaction has not been entirely positive.  The Keegans' cover is superior in every way.

Conan the Barbarian: The Musical

Quite excellent. I'd watch it.

Be sure to watch the makers' previous Schwarzenegger extravaganza, Total Recall: The Musical.  I dearly hope they do more quotable Arnold films: Predator, Commando, The Running Man, and my own favourite, Kindergarten Cop.  Imagine the showstopping tracks "There Is No Bathroom," "It's Not A Tumour," "You Hit A Kid, I Hit You," "Who Is My Daddy And What Does He Do".  Last Action Hero would be hilarious too.

"Faithfulness to the Source Material does not a Great Movie Make."

Behold, another target for the HMS Taranaich.

Honestly, I'm tired of people bitching about Milius' Conan being unfaithful to the books. I'm a fan of Howard's writing, but let's not get pretentious about it. He wrote gory sexy adventure stories, not important works of literature.

And even if they were, faithfulness to the source material does not a great movie make. Greystoke has very little in common with Burroughs' Tarzan, but that doesn't change the fact that it's the best Tarzan film ever made.

Source fidelity can take a flying leap, for all I care. Make a good movie. That's all that matters.

First of all, let's ignore this idea that we're being "pretentious" in wanting a film adaptation that respects an author who is in the Library of America, Penguin Classics, is about to have an academic study published, and has been critiqued in more fanzines and independent scholarly journals for decades than any other fantasy author save Tolkien.  Apparently, that doesn't matter, since everyone knows Conan's just puerile adolescent wish fulfillment.  That said, this does accurately reflect the old Lancer approach of being "just a story."  Also, kinda hard to view the foundation stones of an entire literary genre as "not important literature."

Another new shot of Conan the Momoan (® Miguel Martins)

As brought to us from Rock via kromtaar at the Robert E. Howard forums:

Man... I don't know.  It looks very 300-ish: stylized to the max with much post-production.  That would certainly explain why the principal photography schedule was so amazingly short, if most of the film is being done in post-production like 300.  The sword sports a lens flare J.J. Abrams could be proud of.  Conan's hair looks more like a Sumerian's than a Cimmerian's.  And for the life of me I can't figure out what that pose he's striking is meant to be: I guess it's meant to be a wild barbaric attack, but it looks more like a skirling dance.  Overall, my impression is that it's shooting for badass, but fell somewhere in the "stupid" section.

It's about what I've expected to come from this production, really.

The Shadow of Maggiegate

I can't say I remember hearing about this podcast.

This episode is a memorable one, as we recorded it while Fandomania was under siege from fans of Robert E. Howard who took umbrage with an article we published about the writer’s life. Hilarity ensued.

Hilarity, Jason?  I seem to recall that you were requesting Howard fans to leave Maggie alone, that she was very upset about the feedback she received, to the point where, upon posting another article later on The Cimmerian, that you asked us to just put it behind us, that Maggie suffered enough?  It didn't sound like hilarity was ensuing at all, but that you were treating this situation as a fairly serious one.

(Of course, my sarcasm reader might be faulty, and unable to detect any in the use of the phrase "hilarity ensues," but you'll forgive me if I'm not quite sure given the context.)

I'm too afraid to listen to it.  Not afraid for myself, or for Maggie and Fandomania, but for my keyboard: it's had a lot of battering to put up with lately and I don't want to break the poor thing. Maybe it's a good podcast, maybe it isn't: I won't make little Qwerty suffer any more.

Of course, if any enterprising readers feel differently, they could always say if it's worth the listen...

Conan the Momoan: A Few Adjustments

Looking at the clear photo of Conan the Momoan now all over the internet, it still bugs me how they couldn't do the hair right, "uncool" or not.  So, I went ahead and did a few little changes to make him more Howardian - at least in my mindset.

The Baby-Intellectuals of the Colloquy Society

You might've noticed I don't suffer fools gladly: fools who think Conan the Barbarian was a faithful or even superior adaptation, morons who think Howard would've sympathized with Hitler, dunderheads who think Howard ripped off Tolkien.  Of course, it isn't only the trolls of the internet which make these stupid errors: apparently, so do "geniuses" like those at the Colloquy Society.

Ol' Blue Eyes is Back: Clearer Shot of Conan the Momoan

Courtesy of Boyana, here's the first shot of Momo as Coco.

Finally, we have those blue eyes us Conan fans have been waiting for.  A shame his hair is still brown, Crom damn it. Dark brown, but still brown: unless there's some funky light refraction going on.  I realise this is going to be as Howardian as Thundarr, but would it have killed them to give him hair "black as a raven's wing"?

Silly question, I know.

*Forgot to add, thanks to Stampfer for the news at the Robert E. Howard Forums.

OK, this nonsense is getting out of hand.

First, we had the idiocy of complaining about a Jake Gyllenhaal, a white man, playing a Persian, when the Persian ethnos are considered white by any racial delineation which includes the term "white." 
Now we have idiots throwing a hissy fit because Angelina Jolie is playing Cleopatra.  Because, apparently, Cleopatra was black.

This is stunning.  I can't even see how such a silly idea comes about: is it because Egypt is technically in the continent of Africa, ergo anyone from Africa is a black person - despite that being far from the case in history, and especially the classical era?  Cleopatra VII - the most famous of the Cleos, and undoubtedly the one Jolie is cast as - was Greek.  She was a member of the Ptolomaic Dynasty, and had been for 300 years.  Like the earlier Egyptians, the Ptolomys married closely, sometimes to the extent of cousins and siblings.  The only way she could be black is if the Ptolemies had been marrying Nubians in the 300 years since - something absent from the historical record, and which surely goes against their history of keeping as close to the family as possible.