A ripping SF-fantasy-adventure fraught with dinosaurs, barbarians, Transformers, heavy metal, monsters, spaceships, and all manner of madness.
Sunday 16 June 2013
Technical Difficulties
Dreadfully sorry for the lack of updates: a perfect storm of internet, technological, organizational and software troubles have conspired like a Rebel Four to usurp me from control of the blog. But fear not, for as far as this blog goes, I AM KING OR CORPSE.
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Grant Morrison and Barry Sonnenfeld MUST SUCCEED.
EXCLUSIVE: Barry Sonnenfeld, finishing up his third Men in Black film, has come up with a new spin on the alien film genre. Sonnenfeld is at the center of a publishing/movie deal with Liquid Comics and producer Arnold Rifkin and his Cheyenne Enterprises. Sonnenfeld will team with comic book writer Grant Morrison to develop a graphic novel and movie under the title: Dominion: Dinosaurs Versus Aliens. Morrison, whose comic book work includes Batman and The Invisibles, will write both the graphic novel and the script. Sonnenfeld will direct the film.
While Sonnenfeld has scored his biggest commercial successes with aliens, he's also a dinosaur fanatic who sparked to the idea of combining them. "Growing up, my fascination was all things dinosaur, and as an adult, I've had some success making films about aliens, so this is a dream come true," said Sonnenfeld, who first met Liquid Comics founder Sharad Devarajan when he wrote a forward for one of Liquid's graphic novels. "We've been trying to do a project ever since."
The graphic novel will chronicle a secret prehistoric world war battle. When an alien invasion attacks Earth in the age of the dinosaurs, the planet's only hope is the giants that roam the planet with, it turns out, a lot more intelligence than previously realized. Sonnenfeld, Rifkin and Devarajan will produce, while Liquid cofounder Gotham Chopra will be executive producer. WME will package the film.
The graphic novel will be published later this year in print and digital formats. Artwork will be done by Liquid's Mukesh Singh, who teamed with Morrison on 18 Days. Morrison's repped by ICM.
Normally this is where I'd call up 8-year-old-Ally, but frankly, 27-year-old-Ally is just as demented at this news. Grant Morrison and Barry Sonnenfeld. Working on a film that involves a war between aliens and dinosaurs.
Hollywood, listen to me very carefully. Whatever it is Grant Morrison and Barry Sonnenfeld need to make this film - money, wine, women, men, drugs, Fabergé eggs, their own sovereign country - let them have it. Give it to them. Make this happen.
MAKE. THIS. HAPPEN.
Thursday 5 May 2011
It's as if they knew...
Then I check the time. 6 o'clock. Hmm, time to check my emails, just in case there's some snippet of information. I see Sean Hood's sent an email. In it, he said the following:
...I'm sure you are watching and analyzing the trailer.
I immediately check my other emails, and sure enough, tons of people have sent me links to the new Conan the Barbarian trailer. One was from 2 o'clock this morning. I was 16 hours late on this massive Conan movie news. The one day I decide to stay away from the distractions of the internet, and it's the same day the Conan trailer comes out. So, in a veritable whirling dervish of watching, rewatching, listening and screencapping, I started analyzing the trailer 16 hours after it first came out. Bless Sean and the others for thinking I was deep in thought carefully analyzing this bombshell, but in truth I was going out of my skull sifting through notes on another thing entirely. I probably should've just lied and said "yes, of course, I've been spending several hours watching it on 1/20th speed hooked up to a 50-inch television backwards and forwards," but I'm a terrible liar.
It's preposterous. This is cosmic junctioning of Adamsian levels. Of all the days, it was this day?
Sunday 3 April 2011
Conan the Homophobe
When it comes to antagonists, let's just say that if you have ever played a game about Conan that has featured characters from the books, a few of them were "boy lovers". Conan was before political correctness when it was written, and while it was never a focus, Conan has a major amount of contempt for gays and "boy lovers", and while never descriptive a number of his enemies were supposed to have been weakened by such "civilized decadence". Of course in the video games they rarely even go as far as the stories (both canon, and very old non-canon) did, which wasn't very far. Like most heroes a lot of his enemies "almost get him" in one way or another (a trap or spell, if not a straight fight) so you really can't call them impotent (so to speak) for their orientation irregardless of what Conan might think.
Two words: Citation. Needed.
I'm absolutely stumped by Therumancer's statement. I can think of about three situations that might be construed as vague allusions to homosexuality:
- Thalis' gleeful whipping of Natala in "Xuthal of the Dusk"
- Tascela's suggestive lust for Valeria's youth in "Red Nails"
- A couple of naked slave boys on wine-pouring duty in "The Scarlet Citadel"
And that's it. Exactly zero examples, references, allusions or hints that Conan has anything that could remotely be considered "a major amount of contempt for gays and "boy lovers,"" nor that any of his foes could even be conjectured as homosexual, nor that homosexuality was some sort of result of "civilized decadence." That's not even getting into the fact that I can't recall a Conan game beyond Age of Conan that does feature antagonists from the stories, and even then, from what I can tell they aren't explicitly or suggestively gay. Seriously, am I missing something, guys?
What's even more bizarre is how our man says that this was before the age of PC, as if the public perception of homosexuality in the 1930s had anything to do with political correctness. See, here's the thing: up until the 1970s, homosexuality was largely considered a mental disorder. Think about that. For much of the 20th century, it was the opinion of the scientific community that homosexuality was as much a psychological-behavioural problem as anorexia, schizophrenia, and the multitudes of manias, philias and phobias. In the 1950s and 1960s, you got public service announcements like Boys Beware practically equating homosexuality with paedophilia and sexual predation.
This was made a quarter of a century after Howard's death - and you expect a 1930s Texan to think differently?
So to expect Howard to treat homosexuality as anything other than what not only society, but science considered homosexuality to be at the time - that is, a mental disorder, and anyone who practised what was termed sodomy was breaking the law - is simply preposterous. It's even more ridiculous than expecting him to produce strong female characters (even though he did) or sympathetic black characters (even though he did).
Perhaps he's thinking of one of the pastiches - Lagomorph? Charles? Morgan? - but even then, the first Conan pastiche wasn't around until 20 years after Howard's death. I wouldn't put it past someone like Carter, Moore or Perry. Perry had some weird stuff.
Oh, and Therumancer said "irregardless." That isn't a word.
Saturday 21 August 2010
See, This Is What We're Dealing With.
Conan and his intrepid female warrior-thief escape from the walled city of Cimmeria with a chest of treasure. However, their flight has been cut short by the elite Cimmerian border forces.
... Yeah, it's just like in the stories! I remember when Conan and his unnamed female warrior-thief companion mount a daring raid on the great walled city of Cimmeria! The fight with the Elite Cimmerian Border Forces was sensationally written by Robert Heinlein! What was it called... "The Turret of the Pachyderm!" Yeah, that was it!
*takes a big swig of whisky*
Sunday 15 August 2010
Urge... To Kill... Rising... Again.
InterCasino is launching the world’s first and only “Conan the Barbarian” video slot game. In this new video slot game, there are 9 paylines and one jackpot for each of them. You could win a jackpot on every payline. If 5 Conans appear on any of the 9 paylines, then the Crazy Jackpot is triggered. There is a bonus feature when 3 or more of the scatter symbols appear, and you’ll need to select skulls to reveal prizes and multipliers until you stumble upon a trap under one of the skulls. Swing your sword like a warrior, bend bars with your bare hands, punch camels, and wreak havoc in this fantasy world with Conan the Barbarian at InterCasino.
... Swing your sword like a warrior, bend bars with your bare hands, punch camels, and wreak havoc in this fantasy world with Conan the Barbarian at InterCasino...
... bend bars with your bare hands, punch camels, and wreak havoc...
... punch camels...
... punch camels...
... punch camels...
Friday 13 August 2010
Urge... To Kill... Rising...
Has an actor ever embodied a comic-strip/comic-book character better? It's as if Robert Howard knew Arnold would come along when he created the character in the 1930s.
My God. I mean My God.
Wednesday 3 March 2010
How in the hell did I get nominated for an award?
The Venarium Award — Emerging Scholar(Nominees have never won a Foundation Award before, and in the last year displayed the beginnings of what could be a movement into the upper echelon of Howard movers and shakers. You can only be nominated for this award once, in the year you make your first big push into the wider world of Howard publishing and scholarship.)
BARRETT, BARBARA: Compiling The Wordbook is just one of Barbara’s recent accomplishments. She is a frequent poster on the Cimmerian blog and had an article, “Six Degrees to Cross Plains,” published in the final volume of The Cimmerian.
HARRON, AL: In 2009 Al Harron became one of the stand-out voices on the Cimmerian blog. His witty and insightful posts bode well for his future in the Howardian arena.
Barbara I can understand: she has published articles and a book out. She's a real REH scholar. But I never thought I'd be up for a Venarium at this point in my Howard studies. Past Venarium winners include Rob Roehm and Mark f'n Finn (who beat out Steve f'n Tompkins and Dale f'n Rippke that year!), who all had published articles and many other accolades. I've basically just blogged a lot on The Cimmerian, in addition to lots of posts on the Robert E. Howard forum.
Wow. And the funny thing is, this morning I had started work on my book, with the full intent of not procrastinating and getting it finished. This just adds even more incentive.
Wow.
Monday 2 November 2009
Well, it was bound to happen...
And not just anime: Bishōnen Conan. Ye gods. If anything, though, I'm surprised it hasn't been done before, with the incredible popularity of anime in recent years. Something done in the style of Berserk, Hellsing or Fist of the North Star (graphics-wise, not necessarily style or story-wise) probably wouldn't be too bad, come to think of it.






