I wish people would read the books they review.

I mean, he might have read Heroes in the Wind, but there are one or two things that suggest otherwise.

Adaptations of REH's Work on Wikipedia

About bloody time.

It isn't half bad: neutral, accurate enough. Good job.

So far, the only actual REH adaptations I see on the page are the HPLHS's "Casonetto's Last Song," and Thriller's "Pigeons from Hell." Obviously I'm not counting the theatrical films, because I walk the line between angry young man and ornery old coot. I would happily include "The Return of Sir Richard Grenville" and "Cimmeria" on that list, even if they aren't quite on the same production scale as "The Hunt for Gollum" or "Born of Hope." Better adaptations, though.

Comics is fine, though it clearly needs further expansion. There is one glaring omission: Richard Corben's Bloodstar, an adaptation of "The Valley of the Worm" in all but name. I think a mention of the first graphic novel to refer to itself as such is worth a mention. There should also be mention of Kull, and the the various non-Conan/Kane Savage Sword adaptations.

Music seems to be the most comprehensive, with plenty of Manilla Road's discography, as well as Domine, Bal-Sagoth, Cauldron Born, Mad Minstrel and Rosae Crucis. The Sword's "Black River" should get a mention, as it's had quite a lot of popularity since appearing in Guitar Hero: Metallica. Man, what I wouldn't give for Manilla Road to do a whole Howard concept album...

Mark Chadbourn on Solomon Kane

During my trawl for Howard-related things via Google Alerts (you guys need to try this, it's tremendously useful) I came across James Long's review for Solomon Kane, which links to novelist Mark Chadbourn's thoughts on Solomon Kane.

I couldn't not cover this.

And the most barking mad of all was Solomon Kane. A Puritan adventurer setting out to bring a little God-fearing justice to the world, this was not a sympathetic character. Let’s face it, Puritans are not known for their gut-wrenching sense of humour, but Kane was beyond sombre, a miserable git who hated fun, drink, probably women – although that was left to the sub-text – and, apparently, life in general. He put the loon in gloomy (okay, that doesn’t quite work, but you get my drift).

What astonishing nonsense. How on earth is Kane not sympathetic? He's by far one of the most likeable and sympathetic of ALL REH's protagonists, for all his idiosyncracies. For a guy who hated "fun" he sure went on a lot of adventures, and enjoyed an acerbic sense of humour. I don't remember him crashing any parties or telling off a bunch of youths for drinking. For a guy who "probably hated women," he seemed to be terribly fond of Marilyn and the mysterious Bess, and he was incredibly gentle to that girl in "Red Shadows."

This "miserable git" might describe the caricature of puritans blighting popular culture (the kind that make jokes about how they never make love standing up for fear it would give way to dancing), but it sure doesn't describe Kane.

A Little Blast from the Past

Even though I've been nominated for a Venarium Award (somehow), make no mistake, I'm still an ornery old coot trapped in an angry young man's body.

Case in point, lookie at this old article from Richard Zeszotarski.

I Found Garrick!

Best of all, my patriotic ego leapt in joy at the sight of fellow Scots Rory McCann and Stewart Moore, who sports a mighty beard that mine wants to be when it grows up.
--Yours truly, in my Solomon Kane review

I'm thrilled to find Stewart Kenneth Moore has a fine blog (two in fact), not least because he was one of my favourite parts of the film. He, along with Rory McCann, brought a much appreciated Scottish flavour to the film. Sadly, the majority of his expansive brush has been shorn to a more manageable size, but I will pay tribute to his glorious bristles here.

To Stewart Kenneth Moore's Beard! May it find its way across Beardfrost Bridge to Vandykehalla.

Triangulation: Solomon Kane, Konahn el Destructor, Immortal Fantasy, and Things to Come

Another busy week here, at the REH forums, and at The Cimmerian.

In what is quite possibly my longest Cimmerian article, I delve into the Solomon Kane film. With a week later to ruminate, I think I've settled on "a good enough little film on its own merits, though naturally with many flaws." Interestingly, Paul Berrow liked the review, and said he'd have no reservations circulating it. Paul is one of the producers of the film: wonder if Jim Lad and MJB have read it?

On Thursday, I celebrated the first anniversary of my unofficial Cimmerian debut with El Ingenioso Destructor Rey Konahn de Simaria. I just wish Steve was still alive to read it. Hopefully he's having a good chuckle in Valhalla.

Saturday I chat about Charles R. Saunders' updates and Immortal Fantasy, the fun graphic novel from Winston Blakely. It'd be awesome if Winston and Charles did a comic adaptation of Imaro, or made up a new S&S hero together.

As for the future, Taran over at the Robert E. Howard forum brought a hateful little scribbling from Hans Joachim Alpers to my attention, and he makes a powerful case that this essay could have been a significant factor in setting back scholarship of fantasy for decades. As is tradition for The Cimmerian, I'm planning on giving it a good thrashing too. It's particularly the implication of comparing Conan and The Lord of the Rings to fascism that infuriates me beyond belief, as any fool would know Howard and Tolkien's hatred for the ideology in their letters and interviews.

Unanswered Questions: Solomon Kane

A fridge moment is a thought that occurs to someone after the initial viewing experience, derived from the idea that you watch the show, enjoy, then when you open the fridge door for the milk... you remember something.

It's usually something like a plot hole, forgotten thread, or something along those lines, but other times, it's just a case of being inattentive or not reading between the lines. I had a few of these for Solomon Kane. Sometimes, further thought reveals hidden depths you didn't think of beforehand, as well as a rather crazy theory that actually makes everything fall into place.

Naturally, thar be spoilers in these waters!

Solomon Kane: The Verdict

Well, there it is.

If I were going with a star rating, I'd do it thusly:

As a film: 5/10
It's alright, but not great. Good acting, decent production values.

As a Robert E. Howard adaptation: 3/10
Kane at least comes from Devon, sailed with Drake, is a swordsman with black hair and light eyes, so he fits the phenotype. James Purefoy as Solomon Kane (other coast) was awesome, and showed sparks of the real Kane. Robert E. Howard is the second name seen on the credits, which is awesome. All that's enough for three points. This is unprecedented, since I'd give the other four REH films 0/10.

As an action flick: 6/10
A lot of "badass" moments, great action choreography, plus the usual Rocky-esque "beat him down so it's cathartic when he starts kickin' ass" routine. The Overlord's entrance for the final battle is almost ludicrously awesome, like the gates of Hell just opened up.

As a Sword-and-Sorcery film: 8/10
I have no stock for nostalgia: this is better than just about all the other Sword-and-Sorcery films I've seen.

So, yeah. I didn't hate it. Maybe it's because I went in expecting Kull the Conqueror, and so was pleasantly surprised. Who knows, maybe there's hope for REH in the cinema after all.

Solomon Kane Review Reviews: Robert Mann

A good review, for once: Robert Mann.

Still, a few queries.

The creation of pulp fiction writer Robert E. Howard, known for characters such as Conan the Barbarian, Kull the Conqueror and Red Sonja, Solomon Kane is a character that can be distinctly classified as an anti-hero. Extremely dark, even by the standards of Howard, who has written some pretty dark stuff, he is a character that makes even the likes of Batman seem quite tame by comparison and, given the big screen potential for such a character, it is actually rather surprising that he hasn’t been brought to the big screen before.

It's fairly clear he doesn't have much experience with the literary character, since he considers him "distinctly classed as an antihero" who would make "even the likes of Batman seem quite tame."

This is entirely the creation of the film, based on a very extreme interpretation of the poetry. In reality, Solomon Kane is possibly the LEAST "anti-heroic" of his characters. Sure, he's dark and conflicted, but he's also immensely kind and gentle to the innocent. He'd only be an antihero if he was put into a modern context, where laws, society and mores are very different from the 15/1600s.

There are, however, a few things that set this film apart from other films in the sword and sorcery genre, things you may not expect. For starters, the acting is much better than it really needs to be. James Purefoy is excellent as the titular character, delivering a thorughly convincing performance of a character that is actually more complex than you might expect.

He mentions the performances being "better than they needed to be", but also says Kane is "a character more complex than you might expect"... surely a performance would need to be good in order to portray such a character?

Still, those problems aside, it's an interesting review, well thought out, and actually explaining why and how he came to his conclusions. Would that more critics took after his example.

Solomon Kane Review Reviews: Nigel Powlson

Oh boy.

Nigel Powlson's review.

BEFORE he created Conan the Barbarian Robert E Howard tested out the plot on Solomon Kane. Instead of the steppes, we have Somerset; instead of animal skins we have black hats, instead of paganism we have Christianity.

Otherwise it's the same tale of a cast out child who grows up to seek revenge for an act of violence by a brutal nemesis.

And with one fell swoop, all Nigel's credibility in this review goes whooshing out the window. No, Nigel, Robert E. Howard did not "test out the plot" of Conan on Solomon Kane, because...

1. The story of Conan the Barbarian has nothing to do with Robert E. Howard
2. The story of Solomon Kane has nothing to do with Robert E. Howard
3. Just as Howard's Conan and Kane are very different from each other, so too are the stories of Conan the Barbarian and Solomon Kane as films!
4. Konahn wasn't "cast out" as a child, he was captured and enslaved. Big freakin' difference, I'da thought.
5. Bassett's Kane isn't driven by revenge, he's driven by desire to save his immortal soul. Again, I'da thought that would be a big freakin' difference.
   

Quintuple point failure, damn. How could it possibly get worse?

Van Helsing 2 1/2

I've been following a very talented film editor's work: Dan Oles, going by the handle "bloodrunsclear" on youtube. He's made some very impressive "fake" trailers for films that will never come out, but you wish would: a more faithful Neverending Story, a brilliant conception of Neil Gaiman's Sandman, and a truly extraordinary teaser for Fallout that I can see as a genuine article. He also made a nice trailer for a computer animated Conan, using footage from various game cutscenes.

Then he made this.



This doesn't exactly help with the Solomon Kane/Van Helsing comparisons, but it's scary how easily the two films bind together. It's slick and professionally done, but it kind of makes my skin crawl at the same time.

Van Helsing 2

The film Van Helsing was released in May of 2004. The hero, Gabriel Van Helsing, is not the same character as Bram Stoker's 1897 Dracula character Abraham Van Helsing, the character whose name and role as Dracula's foe - and nothing else - inspired the former.

Kyūketsuki Hantā Dī, or Vampire Hunter D, was first published in 1983, predating Van Helsing by twenty-one years.

Solomon Kane first appeared in the August 1928 issue of Weird Tales, in the story "Red Shadows," one of the first Sword-and-Sorcery tales. It predates Vampire Hunter D by fifty-five years, and Van Helsing by seventy-six years.

The next person who says Solomon Kane is a Vampire Hunter D ripoff or unofficial sequel to Van Helsing, is going to get shot by a cannon.