Robert E. Howard at 112

As I'd been branching out over the past few years, there are a few new friends & followers who might not know much about Robert E. Howard's work, and it never occurred to me to do something fairly simple: a wee list of my favourite stories. Not necessarily those I consider the best, just ones that have stayed with me, and that I found the most compelling & memorable.

Today, Howard's birthday, seems as good a day to do so as any.

Solomon Kane Conflicts with the Original Stories, Part Two

Predictably, everything is draped in late Gilliam, and the action is meticulously humorless — as Howard was himself. The site of a "failed" witch burning, exploded out around the stake and scattered with eyeless corpses, suggests a more interesting medieval pulp tale, but what we get is brisk, atmospheric, and faithful, for better or worse, to Howard's earnest voice.
 - Michael Atkinson, who shows about the usual level of knowledge and accuracy of Howard and his work among film crickets 

Howard's character and theme of a Puritan fighting the supernatural evils of the world gets even grittier, and adds a backstory of Kane seeking redemption after showing him to be just as evil as the horrors he encounters.  This is a welcome addition and does not hamper the character... Liberties were taken with the character, but like The Dark Knight formula: if you remain true to the character, you can change the window dressing.
 - Chris Mancini, a professed fan who considers Solomon Kane accurate to Howard's creation

Based on stories by Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan the Barbarian, the movie hews very close to the tone, spirit, and style of the source material. Instead of reinventing the character into a pastiche of modern archetypes and tropes like so many big-budget studio tentpoles, the filmmakers set their sights on faithfully translating the character to the screen without involving so much interpretation that the core elements that make him compelling disappear.
 - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Since Solomon Kane has been released in the land of his creation after almost three years since its release in other regions, we've been seeing a lot of reviews of the film with fresh eyes. Some are pretty good, which at least give decent reasons for their appraisal of the film, and others are pretty bad, with the same depressing mix of "it takes itself too seriously for a proper fantasy romp" and "doesn't this all remind you of Van Helsing and all these other films that are themselves highly derivative of the source material."

My appreciation for the film has suffered over time, but I still want to say it's a decent film. It's certainly better than a lot of these dark historical fantasy films that've been released of late, and I maintain it's one of the better Sword-and-Sorcery films out there. I'll happily recommend it from that point of view. As a Howard adaptation, though? Ye gods.

Having taken time off following a hospital trip, I took the opportunity to read. In addition to a few new books, I also re-read some old favourites, including the Kane stories, but this time, I read them with the qualification: does this story still make sense if Solomon Kane happened?

(Prepare for spoilers for a 3-year-old film I've been talking about since 2008 that's only playing in a dozen or so theatres, probably because the Weinsteins are the Weinsteins)

Bite-Sized Blog: Conan, Theosophy, and Expendables

Iggy Pop dressed as Conan, looking about as depressed as I do looking at this cover to Conan the Barbarian #10.

Well, time for another update: times are interesting indeed, as it turns out I have more time for one project when I was under the impression I had a matter of days, while the other project is still in the womb of creation, waiting to be snatched out. How purposefully vague.

In the meantime, quite a few things have happened in the world of adventure.

Suvudu's Cage Match 2011: Conan out, Solomon Kane in

So, another round of nerdish nonsense for us all to start blustering and spitting about as we argue which fictional character could beat up which fictional character.  Last year, Conan was involved, but even he couldn't stand against Rand Al'Thor, a character so preposterously overpowered - his superpower is that he can wipe any individual from reality with a mere thought - that you might as well consider it cheating.  If nothing else, at least Conan went down to the eventual winner, who defeated Gregor Clegane to become Suvudu Cage Match Champion.  Hmm, Conan vs Gregor Clegane anyone?

Last time, it got really silly, as Harry Dresden went up against Conan.  The comments section is chock full of hilarity.  What's more - and I truly wish I could find the comment - Jim Butcher (creator of Dresden) himself commented on the situation.  He says Conan would win.  So, you'd think the guy who created Harry Dresden would know what he was talking about, right?  Apparently not, as some people said "yeah, but that's just him being polite."  I guess George R. R. Martin disagrees, since when one of his characters went up against Hermione Granger, poor Hermione ends up in pieces.  Again, I really wish I could find that post.

This year, though, another Howard hero gets in the spotlight: Solomon Kane.  His first match is against Malazan's Quick Ben, who I understand is a sorcerer with intimidating intelligence and power, and a favourite for some commentators.  Since I know nothing about Quick Ben's abilities, I can't really comment on what way the battle would go, but I can say that Kane with the Staff of Solomon is a force to be reckoned with.  It'll be interesting to see how this year's battle goes.  It was noted that this was more of a popularity contest (nooo, really?) than an honest assessment of a character's strength, so I guess this'll go down to Malazan fans/Kane haters vs Kane fans/Malazan haters rather than an actual empirical contest.  It's a shame they went with these two first, as if Kane goes out early, I'll be disappointed.

Here's the list of contenders:

Martin — Redwall series, Brian Jacques
Logen Ninefingers — First Law trilogy, Joe Abercrombie
Solomon Kane — Solomon Kane stories, Robert E. Howard
Pug — Magician series, Raymond E. Feist
Jon Snow — A Song of Ice and Fire series, George R.R. Martin
Severus Snape — Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
Lestat — Interview With a Vampire, Anne Rice
Quick Ben — Malazan series, Steven Erikson
FitzChivalry — Farseer series, Robin Hobb
Mandorallen — Belgariad series, David Eddings
Vin — Mistborn series, Brandon Sanderson
Beowulf — Beowulf
Thomas Covenant — The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson
Corvis Rebaine — The Conqueror’s Shadow, Ari Marmell
Paul Atreides — Dune series, Frank Herbert
Allanon — Shannara series, Terry Brooks
Druss — Druss series, David Gemmell
Severian — The Book of the New Sun series, Gene Wolfe
Perrin — Wheel of Time series, Robert Jordan
Tasselhoff Burrfoot — Dragonlance series, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Gollum — Lord of the Rings series, JRR Tolkien
Arlen — Demon Cycle series, Peter V. Brett
Zeddicus Zu’l Zorander — Sword of Truth series, Terry Goodkind
Molly Millions — Neuromancer, William Gibson
John Carter — John Carter of Mars stories, Edgar Rice Burroughs
Takeshi Kovacs — Altered Carbon, Richard Morgan
Percy Jackson — Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, Rick Riordan
Alvin Maker — The Tales of Alvin Maker series, Orson Scott Card
Katniss Everdeen — Hunger Games series, Suzanne Collins
Jacob Black — Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer
Eric Northman — Southern Vampire Mysteries series, Charlaine Harris
Tally Youngblood — Uglies series, Scott Westerfeld

I don't know who half of these characters are.  What the hell is Gollum doing there?  I predict that Snape could win this: Harry Potter magic in the hands of a competent wizard is a frightening thing, and Snape's one of the few competent characters in the series.  I'm not as big a fan of Druss as other Sword-and-Sorcery fans are, but I'm hoping he does well too.  If Kane doesn't go the distance, I'm pulling for John Carter.  Jon Snow's one of the Westeros residents I don't despise, so I'd be ok with him doing well.  Jacob is going to die a horrible death by virtue of the series he stars in.  Beowulf is probably this year's "ridiculously overpowered" character, if we're going by the original and not the watered-down adaptations.  If Thomas Covenant gets past the first round, so help me...

Let the games begin!

Solomon Kane conflicts with "Red Shadows"

IMO I don't think that Kane started out evil, just really really amoral. Which kind of fits with the universe of the stories if you think about it - there are any number of subtle references to how Kane was once a mercenary sailor. There's even one quote from The Blue Flame of Vengeance where after Kane give his usual "I am a landless man out of Devon" spiel (and I personally love how the movie took that one little detail and expanded upon it and made it literal) he adds "I seek...my soul's salvation, perhaps" which certainly fits with this movie.
 - morden1018, over at the IMDB

It occurred to me that though we far more often get people trying to reconcile Conan the Barbarian with Howard's stories, there is a small number of folk who insist that Bassett's Solomon Kane is entirely in keeping with Howard.  This intrigues me, since they even cite stories supporting the idea - though of course, it's only ever those two lines from "The Blue Flame of Vengeance" which Bassett latched onto.

They don't seem to take into account the dozens of lines which are directly contradictory to the film's origin story. Well, since I've been on a roll, I figured I'd do the same as I've been doing with the Filmgoer's Guide, and discuss those Howard stories which have direct conflicts with Bassett's Solomon Kane.

Michael J. Bassett, Silent Hill, and Robert E. Howard

I've been quite critical of Michael Bassett's Solomon Kane in many regards. I even nominated him for the de Campista awards, which, in retrospect, I don't think was entirely deserved. Not because the changes he made to Kane's origin were any less objectionable, but because he did such a damn good job of praising Howard, without qualifiers or nonsense. His weird ideas on Solomon Kane's origins are an honest, artistic derivation, not one dictated by focus groups or trying to fit in with other stories he wrote. I'm not going to defend Solomon Kane as a Howard adaptation (which it isn't in the first place), but I know Bassett's heart was in the right place.

Anyway, Solomon Kane still hasn't hit North American theatres for reasons unimaginable, but Bassett's next adventure has been announced at Bleeding Cool - Bassett's writing and directing Silent Hill: Revelations, the sequel to the not-great-not-terrible Silent Hill.

Io9's Eclectic Top 10 Monster Fighters

In lieu of a proper Samhain post, I'm just going to point to this Top Ten monster fighters from Io9.  Considering how many different characters could be considered "monster fighters," this was always going to be a somewhat arbitrary list.  They have the Winchesters, but wouldn't Mulder & Scully be equally appropriate?  They have room for Sheriff Eben and Van Helsing (who, while awesome, is not the Vampire Hunter later fiction depicts him being) but not Solomon Kane or freaking Beowulf?  Ah well.

I think I'm ready to leave a hint about The Secret Thing: I have ten months left in which to complete it.

Happy Hallowe'en, folks!

Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter and Solomon Kane

I fairly enjoy Warhammer.  There's something about the gloriously over-the-top, terribly British sense of excess in the Grim Dark Future, very much like 2000 A.D.'s legendary Judge Dredd.  Of course, after Warhammer 40,000 became a smash hit, its rustic counterpart - Warhammer Fantasy - came about.  I became more a fan of the unusual races like the indigenous Lizardmen, the grotesque Skaven, and the gothic Vampire Counts, rather than the traditional fantasy races, like the Orcs and Elves and Dwarves. That said, the Empire has its charms, particularly the not-very-subtle caricature of the inquisition, and their requisite counterpart to Matthew Hopkins, the Witch Hunter.

So cometh Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter.

The omnibus starts with an introduction by Mr Werner himself where he talks about Mathias Thulmann being his first character created for Black Library, his love of halloween, and the influences of Vincent Price's Anthony Hopkins and Robert E. Howard's Solomon Kane when creating Thulmann.

Oh ho!  (Presumably Lord of the Night, the poster, means Matthew Hopkins of Witchfinder General, as opposed to Anthony Hopkins of such films as Magic and Shadowlands.)

I'm going to have to track this book down now.

Solomon Kane: The Eternal Champion?

I thought I'd link to a very interesting review of Solomon Kane by Robert E. Howard Forumer Taran, who comments here as onelastsketch.  It's highly enlightening.

Alice Krige at Collectormania Glasgow

I am giddy as a schoolgirl right now, because one of my favourite actresses is coming to my neighborhood!

One of my few disappointments with the Solomon Kane DVD was the lack of input from some of the cast, especially Alice Krige.  Alice has a special place in my heart, because she's one of the first "celebrities" I met: at one of the last Star Trek conventions of the 20th Century, a few years after Star Trek: First Contact.  Because I was going through a ludicrous "Simpsons caricature" phase at the time - come on, I was 15 and stupid, cut me some slack - I got her to sign my caricature of her.  She was most accommodating to this weird little boy, and when you're the weird little boy at a Star Trek convention...  Later, we (and a few hundred others) danced at the ceilidh at night.  She was the sweetest, mostly lovely woman, and took her time talking to everyone.

The Fine Line Between Homage and Ripoff

I'm not enamored with Kurt Busiek's run on Conan. For all the awesomeness of The Tower of the Elephant, there's a Born on the Battlefield to shake everything apart.  But then, that's for another time.  From what I can gather, Busiek is well-regarded in the comics world for his work.

His latest creation is... rather familiar...

Ten-a-Penny Sword-and-Sorcery... Apparently.

Forsooth:

Finally, after such a glut of auteur cinema, let’s wallow in some trash with Solomon Kane (Entertainment In Video) a throwback to the sword and sorcery epics that were popular during the 80s (indeed the film is based on a character created by Robert E Howard, best known for bringing Conan The Barbarian to the printed page). James Purefoy is all hard-nosed and gravelly as the titular character,  a formerly murderous sea captain now looking for redemption. But when the Devil comes for his soul, a battle ensues that will see Kane attempt to save the world. It’s gloriously silly and whilst films like this are ten-a-penny nowadays there’s a certain pulpy nostalgia that makes it throwaway fun.

Said auteur cinema included the likes of Todd Solondz, Pia Marais, Eric Rohmer and Glauber Rocha.  The Solondz films I've seen are belligerent, childish nonsense and Rohmer's a pale shadow of Godard and Truffout (who I'm not really a fan of myself).  I have no idea who the other two are, so it would be boorish of me to assume they're pretentious, self-indulgent exercises in cinematic onanism... so I won't.

What's Next for Dark Horse & Robert E. Howard... The Horror

Three pieces of news from Comic-Con.  One I'm nervous about, one I'm excited about, and one I... oy.

Solomon Kane DVD Review

The day has come, folks!

Solomon Kane, Redemption and White Supremacy

Or, "Just In Case You Thought I Was Being Overly Positive..."

Solomon Kane: DVD & Blu-Ray Chart-Topper!

As rumoured earlier in the week, Solomon Kane is indeed doing fantastically well in the UK, beating out The Lovely Bones, The Princess & The Frog, Twilight: New Moon, Sex & The City (fresh off a boost from the sequel) and even more on DVD for the week commencing Monday 5th July:

1	Solomon Kane
2	The Lovely Bones
3	The Princess and the Frog
4	The Twilight Saga: New Moon
5	Sex and the City: The Movie
6	Shrek the Third
7	Alice in Wonderland
8	2012
9	The Twilight Saga: Twilight
10	X-Men Origins - Wolverine

Kane's also kicking on Blu-Ray:

1	Solomon Kane
2	Alice in Wonderland
3	The Princess and the Frog
4	Avatar
5	The Lovely Bones
6	Edge of Darkness
7	Sherlock Holmes
8	The Book of Eli
9	The Hurt Locker
10	Up

Well done to all involved!  For all my problems with SK's faults, it tickles me pink knowing that Robert E. Howard's name and the name of one of his creations is on the front cover of the top-selling DVD & Blu-Ray charts.  There simply must be some people out there who check out the special features, want to learn more about Robert E. Howard, and get onto Google.  Welcome to the great adventure, lads & lasses!

In other news, continuing debate over at the REH Forums over whether Solomon Kane can truly be reconciled with Howard - sorry Waldgeist - has encouraged me to go through all the Kane tales again to see if there are any possible points of conflict/connection betwixt the two.  I've only gotten through a few stories so far: I'll post the complete article later on (likely after my review).  The good news for Solomon Kane fans is "Rattle of Bones" is pretty much compatible with the possibility of an Evil/Hard Man Kane.  The bad news is that "Red Shadows" isn't.  There are a multitude of problems not just from the standpoint of Kane's personality, but continuity with other tales in general, to the point where the story itself suffers a noticeable plot hole due to the events of Solomon Kane.  Either a substantial part of the story must be rendered "non-Canon," or Solomon Kane must.

I'm pretty sure that most of the shorter stories and fragments will be safe enough, but the longer works may not.  Time will tell.  It gives me a great opportunity to re-read the stories.  Can't wait to get back to "Wings in the Night."  Man, I love that story.

Solomon Kane's DVD release number 1 in sales

According to Michael J. Bassett's blog, Solomon Kane did well on its first day on disc:

I was also told that Solomon Kane was the number one selling Blu Ray and DVD in the UK on the day of its release.  We beat out The Lovely Bones, which is nice, since that beat us at the cinemas.

Well done everyone involved. I've ordered the DVD from Amazon, and intend on reviewing it as soon as I get my grubby mits on it.  It'll be interesting to see if my original thoughts apply, or if it's better/worse than I remember. 

Solomon Kane Review Reviews: Superhero Cinema

The frustrating thing about Michael Bassett’s Solomon Kane film is that it comes so close to getting it right. The cinematography and gloomy atmosphere capture the somber tone of Conan creator Robert E. Howard’s Solomon Kane tales very well, and there is a scene in the film where Kane encounters a mad priest who keeps a “congregation” of gibbering cannibals locked in the basement of his ruined church that feels like it could have been directly adapted from one of the original stories.

The frustrating thing about Jefferson’s Solomon Kane review is that it comes so close to getting it right. The article clearly knows enough about Conan creator Robert E. Howard's tales to understand how profoundly wrong Bassett's characterisation is, and there are some very salient points...

Nah, I feel mean. After all, this is a pretty good review.  I just feel I have to comment on some things.

Triangulation: Lang, Lawsuits, Bakshi, Moorcock, Tolkien Art, Frazetta & REH,

Obviously, before the big news broke, I had a lot of plans for The Cimmerian. However, those plans will not be in vain, as will become clear soon. For now, a double-dipping of Triangulation, since I seem to have forgotten last week's.

On Tuesday the 18th, I link to Stephen Lang speaking on the Conan film. Comparisons to Jason & the Argonauts have me worrying about a certain other Harryhausen film, or rather its remake... Thursday the 20th, Paradox & Orion have settled their hash. Maybe now we can get Conan's Brethren, huzzah! Saturday the 22nd is right in the middle of the internet blackout, so in an absolute panic I just did a post on Robert Rodriguez announcing Fire & Ice.

Wednesday the 26th brings Moorcock back into The Cimmerian's sights, possibly for the last time. Thursday the 27th yet another short post, this time to a link of Tolkien artists. Finally, on Saturday the 29th, I get the big guns out, and go on with The Art of Frank Frazetta & Robert E. Howard, Part 1. Here I discuss the first iconic Conan picture. I've no doubt people will call it pretentious and snooty, but given I rarely feel like I'm clever in comparison to established Howard scholars, I'll take what I can get.

Again, I'll fully address the situation on The Cimmerian soon.

What if Conan became The Punisher?

At least, that's what this guy thought.


It didn't occur to me when I first saw it... but now I can't see anything else. Howard never depicted Cormac's silver skull on a surcoat (can't recall if he wore a surcoat either, or just plain mail), but I felt it a reasonable extrapolation on Jusko's part. Now, though... I can't help but see Marvel's answer to a DC superhero riffing on Robert E. Howard.