Technical Difficulties

Dreadfully sorry for the lack of updates: a perfect storm of internet, technological, organizational and software troubles have conspired like a Rebel Four to usurp me from control of the blog. But fear not, for as far as this blog goes, I AM KING OR CORPSE.

I Spent an Entire Evening Writing a Post.

It was full of links, citations, quotes, you name it. I was very proud.

I mistyped. Oh dear, I'll have to undo that: CTRL-Z, my friend!

CTRL-Z. Whole page goes blank.

Shock.

Panic.

CTRL-Y. Nothing. CTRL-Z. Nothing.

Backspace in desperation.

Auto-Save.

It goes to previous page, even as I knew the cursor was in the typing field.

I scour the internet for solutions.

You cannot turn off Auto-Save. You cannot retrieve unpublished posts. You cannot restore previous drafts.

It is gone.

It has drifted on the aether of night's Plutonian shores.

Despair.

Panic.

Rage.

Impotent rage.

Just in time for Valentine's Day!

CONAN THE BARBARIAN #16
Brian Wood (W), Davide Gianfelice (A), Dave Stewart (C), and Massimo Carnevale (Cover)
On sale May 15
FC, 32 pages
$3.50
Ongoing
After a series of trials that nearly tore them apart, Conan and Bêlit use a brief respite to embark on a vision quest. But with violence, pain, and death their constant companions, the vision quickly becomes a nightmare!
• New story arc from Northlanders team Brian Wood and Davide Gianfelice!
 - Solititation from Newsarama

Presented entirely without comment. Happy Valentine's!

On the plus side...

Well, just as I thought I was out, they drag me back in.  Actually, no, I have no-one to blame but myself for going back to the Conan Movie Blog: after all, this whole thing is my fault.

I'm officially not allowed to complain about The Legend of Conan any more.

Oh Man, Oh God: Sam Worthington as Allan Quatermain

Yes, Sam Worthington, he who set the world on fire with his magnificent, nuanced, subtle, understated I can't even continue this sentence I'm so outraged.

Sam Worthington (Avatar, Terminator Salvation) has signed on to star and produce DreamWorks' "Quatermain" film, based on the "King's Solomon's Mines" novel by H Rider Haggard.

Allan Quatermain was the hero of the book, in which he leads an expedition into an unexplored region of Africa to find the brother of a friend as well as a fabled treasure of the lost mines. A second book called "Allan Quatermain" soon followed.

DreamWorks' version is set in a time in which humans have left Earth and sees Quatermain return to the planet from a temporary stay in space. Mark Verheiden (Timecop, The Mask) was the writer behind the first script when the project was revealed early last year.

Extra tidbit: Back in 2008, when The Asylum (Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers) was trying to rip off "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," the company released "Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls" straight to video. Obviously it was awful.

No!  No.  No, no, no.  No.  No.  Nnno.  Nnnnno.  NNNNNNNN

Seriously, why are Hollywood having such an accursed hard time adapting Allan Quatermain? The man was Indiana Jones before George Lucas & Steven Spielberg were glints in their parents' eyes!  He's a tough, grizzled adventurer who goes on rough-and-tumble quests through ancient lost kingdoms.  This isn't hard, people!

King Solomon's Mines in particular is a great adventure, easily suitable for adaptation to the big screen.  It's the template for such great tales as The Lost World, The Land That Time Forgot, The Man Who Would Be King, The Moon Pool, Lost Horizon, "The Moon of Skulls," and who knows how many other Lost World yarns.  The book's been adapted 6 times, and they still haven't done better than the magnificent 1937 one with Paul Robeson.  And now we have... Sam Worthington as Allan Quatermain.  Jings.  What's next, She with Hayden Panettiere?

Oh, and I simply can't wait for all the inevitable squealing about how this rips off Indiana Jones.  Or the recent Mummy films.  Or Drake's Fortune.