Triangulation: Lang, Lawsuits, Bakshi, Moorcock, Tolkien Art, Frazetta & REH,

Obviously, before the big news broke, I had a lot of plans for The Cimmerian. However, those plans will not be in vain, as will become clear soon. For now, a double-dipping of Triangulation, since I seem to have forgotten last week's.

On Tuesday the 18th, I link to Stephen Lang speaking on the Conan film. Comparisons to Jason & the Argonauts have me worrying about a certain other Harryhausen film, or rather its remake... Thursday the 20th, Paradox & Orion have settled their hash. Maybe now we can get Conan's Brethren, huzzah! Saturday the 22nd is right in the middle of the internet blackout, so in an absolute panic I just did a post on Robert Rodriguez announcing Fire & Ice.

Wednesday the 26th brings Moorcock back into The Cimmerian's sights, possibly for the last time. Thursday the 27th yet another short post, this time to a link of Tolkien artists. Finally, on Saturday the 29th, I get the big guns out, and go on with The Art of Frank Frazetta & Robert E. Howard, Part 1. Here I discuss the first iconic Conan picture. I've no doubt people will call it pretentious and snooty, but given I rarely feel like I'm clever in comparison to established Howard scholars, I'll take what I can get.

Again, I'll fully address the situation on The Cimmerian soon.

The Conan That Could Have Been...

As reported by Devin Faraci.

That's the face of the Conan you'll never see in a movie.

By now you've probably seen the images from the set of the new Conan movie. Jason Momoa looks like a cross between Tarzan and Kid Conan, and the general cheesiness has done little to instill hope in the minds of fans. What we've ended up with is basically the weakest version of Conan possible, but what would have been the strongest?

Devin, let's be real: Momoa is in no way the weakest version of Conan possible. Kellan Lutz would have been infinitely worse, and I seriously doubt Jared Padalecki could've bulked up as much as Momo has. In terms of appropriateness for the role, bodybuilders with no actual acting ability - like Roland Kickinger - would be terrible choices. I'd take Momoa over those guys any day.

Triangulation: Momoa and Frazetta

Well, I certainly did more than last week. I just wish it was under better circumstances.

Monday comes the minor news of the first pictures of Momo as Coco, and the infinitely more important news of Frazetta's passing, followed by tributes on Tuesday and visual ones on Wednesday, with a personal one on Thursday. It was just a matter of time given his health and age, but it's still tough. On Saturday, I decided to pull the trigger on my "Frazetta and Howard" series, where I look at the illustrations in more detail.

First of all, there's this weird undercurrent in the internet that asserts Frazetta's Conan "doesn't really resemble Howard's" or some variation therein. I really don't think this is the case: the only thing that I don't think Frazetta did get was the hair, which was too straight for Conan's "unruly," "tousled," "lion-like mane." Not crimped or wavy like Momoa's or Moellers, nor straight like Frazetta, but somewhere in between that and the Bettie Page do. Something like Oded Fehr's, IMO. But apart from the hair, there's the clothing - and really, given how many costumes Conan goes through, it isn't like giving Superman or Batman the wrong costume. Everything else - dark skin colour, rough skin texture, hairy chest, musculature, proportions, facial features, scars, hair colour, eye colour - all present and correct.

Secondly, there are people who say Milius did a good "Frazetta Conan." Again, I can't say I agree. Arnold's Conan had moderately tanned skin with an oily sheen, brown flowing hair, green/grey eyes, different facial features, and different bodily proportions: a bodybuilder's physique instead of a warrior's. Arnold's Conan looks strong as an ox, sure, but Frazetta's Conan looks like he could believably hold off an army on his own. I never felt that with Arnold. It didn't help that he was subdued by a paltry minimum of two big dudes.

As an aside, I love all the comments on places like Superhero Hype, Comic Book Movies, IGN and whatnot saying that Ahnold would break Momoa in half, when his actual fighting prowess is so utterly laughable when one looks at it. He has some nice moments, like the Battle of the Mounds, but most other fights, he moved like a tranquilised sloth. If Momoan is anything like Ronan, Momoan would freaking eviscerate Ahnold. Does it matter how big your muscles are when your opponent is moving in x4 speed and slicing your limbs off before you know what's happening? (Whoops, getting dangerously close to defending the remake there...)

Then we get into the whole idea of Milius making Conan the Barbarian "an ode to Frazetta and Wagner" - I can't help but think he's too obsessed with the details to get the big picture. He goes for Frazetta's details - the sword design, costumes, architecture, whatnot - but he doesn't do the stuff that made Frazetta Frazetta, as opposed to his myriad imitators and students. He doesn't do the sweeping dynamic colours, the almost expressionist blurs and tones, the stark relief, the composition, the classicism. It's like dressing some street bum in lavish Macbeth costume on the side of a street, and expecting to get Sir Ian McKellan at the RST. Ralph Bakshi did a better Frazetta pastiche: heck, even Nispel did a better job bringing "Frazetta" to life (albeit in only one or two really cool shots).

The first picture in "Meditations" is one of my favourite tributes. It has Luana, which was my first exposure to Frazetta, leading Frank through his gathered creations to the gates of Heaven, and a silhouette waiting at the threshold... Man. Normally I find this indescribably cheesy, but this one just works. It helps that Luana has special significance for me. I might post some of my favourite Frazetta pics with a word about why on an off day, when I'm not so busy.

Anyway, getting myself geared up for Howard Days. Less than a month away! BTW, Drag Me To Hell is totally "Casting the Runes"/Night of the Demon with a different ending, setting and characters. Since Raimi infused it with a lot of his daft humour, it's probably best he didn't make a full remake, since Night of the Demon is one of the finest horror films ever made.

A nice Frazetta Tribute... except...

This bit:

In a sense, he as the visual equivalent of Robert E. Howard. Like Howard, he is often copied, and well; unlike Howard, he is rarely surpassed at his own craft.

I'm curious as to what Magedalene's Egg means by this. Does s/he mean Frazetta was one of the greatest artists, while Howard wasn't one of the greatest writers? Or does s/he mean Frazetta was one of the greatest fantasy illustrators, while Howard wasn't one of the greatest fantasy writers?

I don't know why this phrase was necessary. It could've been left out, and little would suffer.

Ishtar's Breath, a female Frazetta fan!

There are a lot of Frazetta tributes still cascading the Great Cyber-River, but this one caught my eye.

Now, as a geek, unto geeks, I may be preaching to the choir about this.
Any geek that read a Heavy Metal, or a reprint of a Robert E Howard novel or any other number of nerdy emphera is familiar with his work. In truth it is nearly unavoidable, in of itself or through what it has influenced and inpired.
But I feel the need to eulogize Frezetta because as a Lady Geek - his work stood out like a beacon of reassurence and hope that you didn't need to look like a super model to look like a goddess.
As a tween in a comic shop in the 90's, I vividly remember seeing a stack of giant size comic books from the 70's with Franks art adorning the covers.
It made a notable impression on me.

Silly mental echoes of "a g-g-g-g-girl!" aside, it cheers me immensely to see that there are women celebrating Frazetta's work too. I know that they exist - I know a couple personally - but I'm glad to see more on the internet. In the great debate that is "naked idealised men are empowering, naked idealised women are demeaning," it bothers me to see Frazetta put there too. Have these people not seen Luana, Cat Girl, or any of Frazetta's "chicks with attitude?"

As I've been working on my Cimmerian tribute, it occurred to me that there's just so much to talk about with Fritz' work: his women could occupy an article in themselves. Hmm...

What Hideous Cosmic Junction...

... That we have the first underwhelming shots of Jason Momoa as "Conan" leaked on the same day that we learn of the astronomically more important news, that of Frank Frazetta's passing?

Naturally, the first story has all the numbskulls whose knowledge of Conan begins and ends with a vague recollection of the film through marijuana smoke. Some hilarious fellows out there engage in some questionable humour: "I guess he saw the new Conan, and died on the spot."

To all those masters of subtle, nuanced black humour making such comments:

Go to hell.

Goodbye, Frank.

When summer goes and autumn comes
To paint the leaves with sombre fires,
I feel, like throbs of distant drums,
The urge of distant nameless sires.

--"One Blood Stain," Robert E. Howard

I've broken the news on The Cimmerian, but this news undoubtedly deserves more. Frank deserves more. When I can get my thoughts sorted out, I'll be posting a tribute on The Cimmerian to this legend.

I rarely call any one person my favourite writer, director, poet, or artist. Frank was an exception: he was my favourite illustrator. I'd always wanted to meet him, though in retrospect, the man I would've met wouldn't have been the same man who painted all those masterpieces. Part of me is sad, but another part is relieved. His pain, be it physical or mental, is now over. He's reunited with his love Ellie, and whether they're together in heaven or peaceful black oblivion, they are at peace.

So long, Frank, and thanks for being the greatest fantasy illustrator of them all.