Friday, 27 November 2009

Is it possible for a man to love a blog?

Every so often, I come across a blog that I just fall utterly in love with: The Cimmerian, The World We Don't Live In, The Anthropogene. This one is new to me, begging the question of just where it has been all my life:


Prehistoric Pulp is a blog dedicated to fantastic fiction about dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals, with reviews, cover blurbs and news about upcoming works.

Also covered here, although less comprehensively, are comics and board/roleplaying games featuring prehistoric critters. There are no reviews for movies or television shows, but I do include news items about upcoming films.

Already I'm smitten. However, it's here that I truly fall head over heels:

Most fiction featuring prehistoric animals is targeted at children, and a few of those works are covered here. This site, however, is mainly about books and stories with an adult audience in mind, from Journey to the Center of the Earth to Jurassic Park.

If I could swoon, let me assure you, I would be having difficulty typing this as I lie prostrate on the floor. Sadly, being a Scots highlander, I cannot swoon of my own accord.

Unfortunately, the site hasn't been updated since 2007, but there's still a wealth of reviews and information. Count me in!

Sunday, 22 November 2009

S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. New Recruit, Codename: Theagenes

============================
WARNING: CLASSIFIED MATERIAL

UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL BE DETECTED, OBSERVED, AND SEVERELY DEALT WITH TO THE FULL EXTENT OUTSIDE THE LAW

THIS IS YOUR SOLE WARNING
============================

11/22/09

Gentlemen, we have a new agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. joining us today. Agent Scammonjam had him under observation for some time, and is assigning him to the main division of S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. Agents.

Agent Theagenes specializes in archaeology and historical research: his expertise will be a considerable boon to S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L., and I don't doubt his input will be vital in future operations. His first assignment is complete, and the first report in. Assignment P-7515 is an introductory exercise highlighting the Agent's vast span of material pertinent to S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L.'s goals, which will be interned in Area CP-A.

Agent Theagenes' weekly MINAC reports will be submitted on Sundays. We at S.H.I.E.L.D.W.A.L.L. welcome a new shieldbearer to the cause, and look forward to what he brings to the game.

Shields up,

--Agent Taranaich

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Conan: The Wrath of Singh


I was initially happy with calling the new "Conan" film Conan the Rehash, but over at the conan.com forums, Conan: The Wrath of Singh has gained footing.

This is delicious. Why? Because it's a play on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (obviously), a film which is dominated by a revenge story, the difference being that it's the antagonist rather than the protagonist acting as Captain Ahab. It's thus an appropriate title that encapsulates how utterly derivative the script is: the revenge plot, the Ceti eels, and best of all, the villain.

Why best of all? Because Khan's full name is Khan Noonien Singh.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Triangulation: Conan the Rehash

Seriously, I've written over 5000 words on the Conan film, and I'm barely a third of the way through the script. I decided to concentrate on only the most important points for the Cimmerian article. No sooner do I publish it, then Waldgeist drops this bombshell.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Conan the Barbarian Review Reviews: Empire Magazine

Part of the reason I started up a blog was to discuss things which I didn't feel were appropriate for my usual haunts. Too low-brow for the esteemed Cimmerian blog, too off-topic or impolite for the Conan forums. One of these is "reviews of reviews", where I spend a little while ranting and raving like a loon about a particular reviewers' interpretation of Howard, usually via Conan the Barbarian.

Sure, there are plenty of good reviews out there, but there are also lots of terrible ones. While not truly horrific, Clark Collis' Empire Magazine Review is flawed, with one or two very annoying elements.

Lay on, Macduff, and damn'd be him that first cries, 'Hold, enough!'

Monday, 2 November 2009

Well, it was bound to happen...


Anime Conan.

Anime.

Conan.

And not just anime: Bishōnen Conan. Ye gods. If anything, though, I'm surprised it hasn't been done before, with the incredible popularity of anime in recent years. Something done in the style of Berserk, Hellsing or Fist of the North Star (graphics-wise, not necessarily style or story-wise) probably wouldn't be too bad, come to think of it.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Triangulation: The Letter of Glenn Schuyler Hoffman

A little bit of fun for Samhain.

There are two major inspirations for this post: my own weird idea for Howard, Smith and Lovecraft to roam the world fighting crime and solving Cthulhoid mysteries, and this marvellous video based on the work of Andrea Bonazzi. I very much hope Mr Bonazzi doesn't mind my use of his artwork in such a blasphemous exercise.

I might turn "Weird Tales Investigations" into a mini-series of its own. It'd be of the same scary/absurd nature of Sam Raimi's horror more than anything else, but chock-a-block with references and allusions to pulp fiction. There's already a popular counterpart for the Inklings in Here There Be Dragons (which I haven't read, but really should) featuring Tolkien, Lewis and Charles Williams going off on high adventure, but apart from certain works which I won't dignify by naming, nobody's really done the Weird Tales Troika.

Of course, the holy grail is the one that few people really consider: a Howard/Tolkien mashup. Bob & Tollers fighting off modern Morgoth cultists, battling the "nameless things" that gnaw in the deep places of the earth, uncovering the lost histories of Middle-earth and the Hyborian Age. Deuce'll probably kill me for trying to mash-up the two again, but I'll think of some copout.

Until then!